Been chillin er with fcukin 2 Hats this week fcukin knows it I likes to chill take it easy watchin and listenin to Peter Alliss he's fcukin great GLC Relaxation is important my community welfare officer suggested I relax more because of the violent outbursts. I'm a lot better now you know so much serious Serious man I loves to fcukin just sit there have a spliff and relax most of all I likes watchin the fcukin Antiques Roadshow just in case they values any of them old co*k mags I bought down fcukin town centre I works hard all day selling the draw Drinking the beer and being chased by the law I gets in from town and I kicks back large With a Radox bubble bath and a body ma**age I wears a ball bearing all day in my shoe So I got a bad boy limp when I hangs with my crew You knows this much and this much is true I watches Weakest Link on BBC2 I chills with the birds from the council estates I goes down there joyriding with my mates I picks one up with greasy hair scraped back And starts to get it on to Roberta Flack Take it easy in my council pad Smokin the draw I don't get mad I likes to watch darts on BBC 2 Takin it easy slurpin a brew When I gets home from work I gotta relax I get paid cash in hand and I don't pay no tax I slips on the pavement without stepping on cracks I combs my hair with some gel or some wax I'm into leisure clothing got sandals and slacks And I got a big spliff that's like a Tampax When I'm chillin at home I drinks Pepsi max But if you fcuk with me I'll cut you up with an Axe Going on a day trip up to Big Pit Some of my mates says the Gift shop is sh** But I'd really like to know how they survive
No draw f*gs and rizla or GLC vibe I loves to chill up Pontypool With the sixth form girls from the local School I gotta scam going on where they pay me the money They dress up and then they show me the cunny Gotta skinhead and I likes the minge [ ] and a tidy fringe I wears tracksuits that would make you cringe When I goes out on a mad drinks binge Couple of punters on a Tuesday night Sniffing some poppers I think I might Bit of speed and I'm high as a kite Followed by spliffs and I'm out like a light I puts on the news its got Osama Bin Laden So I flicks the channel to see a show set in a garden After seven minutes I puts on ITV And sees three minutes of romantic comedy Shot in a studio before an audience that's live I think fcukin hell there's s** on Channel 5 A good erotic thriller that makes me undo my flies In under 20 seconds my co*k starts to rise Just been er working hard cleaning out the furniture of a dead person's house fcukin you've gotta relax man you've gotta take it way easy man Goes home I sits in my lazy boy reading special instructional pamphlets On fcukin relaxing I has a spliff If your circle stays unbroken then you're a lucky man Cos it never, never, never, has for me In the palace of the virgin lies the chalice of the soul And it's likely that you might find the answer there innit Knows it for real fcukin 200 + 2 It's the GLC crew fcukin can't stop the fcukin beatings fcukin Mr Love Eggs Fire of d**h Ray Balaclava fcukin Power of Ten One Step Down fcukin Billy Webb The fcukin Walsh Knows you're fcukin safe