Adam: Is that boy balls going off on one again? Look, son, I told you before. It's all lies. Don't fuk'n listen to 'em clarts Let me tell you a story about a mate of mine You'll have to bear with me I've had a bottle of wine His name's Adam Hussain and he's really alright He shagged a mongo in his car, late one night It was some time back in late '83 Benny Blanco was his name and he came round to tea He made his excuses and went to the bog Xain found him outside, shagging the dog He's never been the same since that summer's day He lost his fuk'n head and thought he was gay We soon brought him round with a big fat blunt Then we showed him some pictures of a dripping c*nt Dunlop. Greenflash. 13.99. Dunlop. Greenflash. They calls it LSD and it's fuk'n wicked man If you need your fix, you know where to go Get on the phone to Benny Blanco He doesn't mind, even when he's with a who*e He's the 'Port's drug amba**ador He'll deliver to you, within the hour In his Patrick shell suit, sometimes with a flower In his collar, he looks fuk'n dollar and his eyes are quite similar to the Ayatollah I first met Hussain whilst pissed on a train He was off to Heathrow to catch a fuk'n plane I think he had a connection to organise the draw Cos he gave me three ounces and a photo of Roger Moore He told me a story about a bird he shagged He took for a spin in a car he blagged They pulled into a lay-by and started getting busy He ripped off her pants and covered her in c*nt jizzy She said to him, "you really make me hot, i don't even mind about the co*k rot!" So he seized his chance and took a tricky brown But it all went pear-shaped when he took a look down There were loads of skid marks all over his seat They were white leather so they'd be there for weeks He blagged the car from his cousin in Aberdare And when he gave it back there was sh** everywhere Adam: There may be an element of truth there, right? Er, but most of it, it.. it... it's fcuking lies. I swear to god, I never done nothing like that before Eggsie: Yous fcukings knows it. I am a fcuking robot. Is ams froms outers spaces. Is ams froms jus-pis-ters. Went to pick a man up in my fuk'n car
There's a rave up in Wentwood, It's not very far We've got d** and lager, we've been to the Spar House, techno, acid - there's even a bar Adam got fuk'd up, off his head on pills He got on the podium to show us his sk**s He dropped his can of lager and slipped in the mess And ripped down this fuk'n minging birds dress This minging bird said, "You make me cringe" Hussain' shoved his fingers up her minge He said, "My beer goggles are on but you're quite smart" "Come back to my place you fuk'n tart!" She kicked him in the bollocks and punched him the eye He said, "you still haven't given me a fuk'n reply" She said, "You'll never get me back to your place." So Adam pinned her down and shot his man fat in her face When I first met Benny Blanco he sold me the blow After bingo at the community disco He fingered, two mingers, And was making girls sniff his fingers Smoked bongs and drank Strongbow Went for a drive and shagged a mongo He's been bad, since the day he was born And he's got a huge collection of dog p**n Adam: That fuk'n sh** about shagging a mongo, that's not true, right? Are you trying to frame me, or something? Let me kick some fuk'n sh** to you now, right guys... Some of it's lies and some of it's the truth I'm Benny Blanco and you got no proof The dog p**n sh**? It's all propaganda Although I seen some sick sh** with an electric sander And a girl in a bikini called Miranda Giving it to a sh**ty dog, seal and a panda Went in HMV, to buy a DVD Of some oral s** - beastiality I couldn't get any, I was feeling quite forlorn Until I found this tape of dog p**n When I got it home, it weren't my cup of tea But Eggsie had to have a w4nk cos it was free So call it the truth, so call it slander But I don't give a fuk cos I'm drinking Moet Chandon I starred in a co*k film called Black Mamba And I feels like Sean Connery that film, er, Highlander I'm Adam Hussain, alright? If you thinks I been shagging fuk'n animals, you'd be mistaken, like. But if you fuk'n thinks I have, I'll fuk'n shag you with that metal pig outside the market. Do... Do you read me over. I am a robot. You fuk'n obey ba*tard prick. Errr