[intro]
you gonna, you gonna fukin order the curry then or what?
yeah, alright..pa** me the phone clart.
y'wa...hang on mate..
wha**, wha...aw, say whats the fukin number, son
yew aah, switch yer fukin phone on...c'mon..fukin, i'm staarvin'
er, allo, allo..yeah, i i i'd like to order a f.. uh...a curry please, yeah
er, chicken tikka ma**ala, er, 4....4 pila...pilau rice's
([background] - can i ave a naan bread)
aw fukin 'ell..we gotta, fukin.. naan bread as well...
uh, f.. keema nan..3...3 onion bhajis..er, fukin..an an some pepsi
yeah, yeah spa..is ..its a takeaway.
back in the port, stackin up yer bong
havin a fukin laugh and still signing on
i went to pick up a curry and they saw my capri
i payed them in draw and the keema now its free
the korma was wicked and it only cost a fiver
and they asked me to become the new delivery driver
the orders added up, two by fukin two
i can sell draw when im delivering vindaloos
when you're driving in town late at night
fuk me clarts you see some sights
wrecking it up in my capri
delivering a chicken bhuna going into Maindee
now you see me knocking out making a cut
ill give you free madras if you keeps yer mouth shut
ill bring you a curry and sell you the blow
ill put hash mix in yer bombay potatoes
[chorus]
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
i delivered the mushroom biriani to this babysitter
she invited me in and i fuked her up the sh**ter
i took a lamb madras and a quarter to Brynglas
my b**h got three ounces stuffed in her a**
she s**ed me off and spat in the mint sauce
you don't wanna know what she put in the main course
chicken tikka ma**ala delivered to 56
cause the people there are pricks
cause they never fukin tips
i delivers the curry right down pill
this bird 'ad no money so she gave me a f**ing thrilll
i closed my eyes and made a wish
i chucked my man milk up her fukin starfish
i had 10 pints and smoked some crack
now i gotta deliver a prawn dhansak
i got to the house, i was sick on the doorstep
but i made them pay cash cause i won't take a cheque
[chorus]
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
herbs and spices, deliver pills on ice
i never get c-caught like in miami vice
i get 'em really dodgy on the streets of the city
deliverin' more draw than curry...which ain't a pity
but when the filth pull me over on the hard shoulder
i gives them LSD curry and a strawberry pavlova
and i pays them off with all this cash that i rake in
the girlies love me so i'm always flicking bacon
all this mad funk, never fukin quits
ever seen someone get fuked with a pneumatic drill in quik-fit?
i doubt it clart, now gimme the fukin money
this is some of the sh** i sees delivering curry
[chorus]
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
chicken tikka ma**ala chips and rice
went down private-eyes and bought a special device
it wasn't very long before i got an order wrong
and my special bombay spuds turned this bloke into a mong
he started complaining when he woke up
cause it was three weeks later and he missed the world cup
he got fuked off, i must've really bought his piss
cause i got fired next time i went into the office
they found my capri with the draw they had to seize
fcuk this splew i'm off to work down the chinese