My head rests on a pillow with two faces
And so many memories
I sleep with blankets that fight cold and heart ache at the same time
I leave the window open so the night can see me play dead
My eyes just shut and my wondering mind has been fed
See the carpets been run from the constant pacing back and forth
North of my dissapointment the bathroom mirror shattered with the force
THe heat won't work and the bills are pilling quickly
The cellphone's been shut off
And that outside world is trying to find me
I can't reach out the illusion is spread out
I'm mostly locked in place
Cause I'm a cliche now
Refer me to my condition
It's faceless
The door is cracked into splinters
My knuckles are torn
Limiting my options to a new love are being reborn
The lights are dim and all the usual shadows are different
I hear the creaks in the floor they're from the demons coming to visit
Books save me for a moment but they always have a last page
I read the introduction 50 times and I hope for a change
This sink is never full and the refrigerator is always empty
The milk is sour
I've an*lyzed everything from the first glance to being a coward
The vanity used to put me to sleep but now it's lectures me on my problems
I'm just trying to find a cold hear that blared at top volume
This room reminds me of laughing
So I just shut my eyes and go back to the nights when I was enlightened
Burning the wick at both ends
I knew something had to give
Leaving fire damage on the walls is a mark of how we live
It's like this:
"What do you mean?"
"I know what he means, come here, listen to this"
I changed my rules to make it all so easy
But you lost your chance to grow up and be your own escape
Now I interpret every word to be a little different
And why do I make promises that I know I can't keep
Because honesty is more attractive
THat's how I found out that winners never sleep
Why do I make these promises I can't keep
Because honesty is more attractive
And winners don't sleep
I guess I'm kinda thinking about my old girlfriend
Sometimes when I get on stage I kinda think about her
I'd be up here performing and I'd hear her laughing
I kinda miss her I guess
I kinda miss her
(laughter)
You think that's funny?
Six months later
I'm back to where I headed from
Now my headaches gone
And I take responsibility for all the ignoring that I did
And I regret acting like an adult when I was a little kid
Now I pa** out with the TV on at four o'clock in the morning
Waking up every hour and writing down every dream is boring
It seems that everyone I talk to experiences the same thing
Being abandoned more of a world epidemic than suffering
Now the questions have always been there
But no one says the answers
I depend on my instincts to alert me of danger
But those same instincts formed an alliance with my emotions
Letting me follow a pipe dream in a stream where I'm floating
Next to a road less traveled
Next to a burning house
Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine myself on the couch
Lost in the abyss of a comfortable Sunday afternoon
Content to be feeding off of securities hidden doom
Cause my excess is guarenteed no matter who likes this song
It will never replace the fact that sometimes you don't belong
Here in my bedroom play me next to the wall privileges
Acting as if I'm character carrying my blue blanket mixes
Into a faultless portrait and I wouldn't want to spoil it but if the scene comes together
I'll be the first to admit
That most painters are fiction writers just minus the words
While most liars have bodes and speak with their curves
See, that world wasn't meant for me and I'll never visit again
But the memory resurfaces so I erase it now and then
"You know I'm really up to hearing this
I am onstage
And it's my a** on here
And I come out and I'm giving
And I'm giving some more and I make a simple request"