Well listen now my merry lads A tale we'll be a-tale'n About a dwarven-lord of old We thinks his name was Balin He sat upon a mound o' gold And there he grew so very old His beard so thick it kept 'im warm And well when he was ailin' So rich he was but still 'e lacked One tiny single gem A pearl 'e wanted for his hoard 'Twould be the d**h of him!! He dreamed of pearls both night and day He vowed that he would have his way A mountain he would climb for it An ocean he would swim! Not far from Balin's home there lived A tired and ancient dragon
His wings were broke, his fire was spent His eyes, they were a-saggin'! But he was known throughout the land For in his clawed and scaly hand He clutched a pearl of great renown And Balin this was naggin'! The dragon woke one day to find Old Balin come a-callin'. So old they were, they tried to fight But couldn't keep from falling! The dragon fell upon his sword While Balin tried to reach the hoard He tripped upon his beard so great And crushed beneath the dragon's weight He ne'er would have his precious pearl For d**h you can't be stallin'!!