Orc was crouched on the cavern floor And kept an eye on the oaken door For many a night he'd watched it close To see who might appear. Oh dear! See him leer? He's clutching a mighty spear! Orc was guarding a mighty stash And any who'd come he'd have to slash For stacked on high in the cavern behind Were kegs of goblin beer Oh dear! To his rear The Goblin King kept all his beer! Dwarf was thirsty as he crawled To the oaken door on the cliff face wall His nose had caught the scent of ale Oh what a sweet sensation. Elation! Fixation! He's found the Goblin's libation. Dwarf and Orc A battle not worth telling Spear or cork With which should ye be a**ailing Just pop a dwarf on the head with a cork And see if his axe don't sing! Just take that axe upon yer skull And see if yer head don't ring! With his axe he smote the place
But no surprise on the Goblin's face Whilst guarding he'd just helped himself And drank all the Goblin King's brew Oh boo! What to do? He's got himself into a stew! The door came crashing in on Orc Who'd traded his spear for a beer to uncork His drunken smile was soon replaced As Dwarven axe did cleave that face What a case - of disgrace The dwarf was king of the place So in the dark he felt around But nothing intact was to be found The bottles smashed, the kegs all dry The Orc had drunk the lot Found it not! Such a sot! And deserving of what he had got! Dwarf and Orc A battle not worth telling Spear or cork With which should ye be a**ailing Just pop a dwarf on the head with a cork And see if his axe don't sing! Just take that axe upon yer skull And see if yer head don't ring!