Christmas in the sun, working on those lines Is more dangerous than terrorism or crime You're more likely to burn up in Beirut or Belize Than wake up in a market-place with shrapnel in your knees Just don't go upstairs Cosmopolitan says 'Don't go upstairs - gravity keeps you young' Promise you'll be there when age plucks out my hair And pins it to my chest, please don't get too depressed We'll both age in a straight line unless one of us has A breakdown in our fifties or soaks too long in the bath Just don't go upstairs Cosmopolitan says 'Don't go upstairs - gravity keeps you young' I have seen into the future
Everyone is slightly older First you're fat and then you shrink Into a common curse I have been on television In principle if not reality Truth applies in both dimensions Truth applies in both directions Christmas in the sun (in sandals) Working on those lines (those badges) Is more dangerous than (just as dangerous) Terrorism or crime (terrorism or crime) You're more likely to burn up (baby!) In Beirut or Belize (Northampton?) Than wake up in a market-place (oh no!) With shrapnel in your knees (shrapnel in your knees) Just don't go upstairs Cosmopolitan says 'Don't go upstairs - gravity keeps you young'