[Intro - Spoken]
Alright, so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone
You're just doing your own thing and someone comes out the blue, they're like, 'Alright, what ya saying? Yeah, can I take your digits?'
And you're like, 'No, not in a million years, you're nasty, please leave me alone.'
[Verse 1]
Cut to the pub on a lad's night out
Man at the bar, 'cause it was his shout
Clocks this bird and she looks okay
She caught him looking and walks his way
'Alright, darling, you gonna buy us a drink then?'
'Er, no, but I was thinking of buying one for your friend...'
She's got no taste, hand on his waist
Tries to pull away, but her lip's on his face
'If you insist, I'll have a white wine spritzer'
'Sorry, love, but you ain't a pretty picture'
[Chorus 1]
Can't knock 'em out
You can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the
Politest way to say ('Er, sorry, yeah, but nah')
Just get out my face
Just leave me alone
And, no, you can't have my number ('Why?')
Cause I lost my phone
'Oh, yeah, actually yeah, I'm - I'm pregnant. Um, yeah, I'm having a baby in like 6 months and uh, yeah, yeah...'
[Verse 2]
I recognize this guy's way of thinking
As he comes over, her face starts sinking
She's like, 'Oh, here we go'
It's a routine check that she already knows
She's thinking, 'They're all the same'
'Yeah, you alright, baby? You look alright still, yeah, what's your name?'
She looks in her bag, takes out a f*g
Tries to get away from the guy on a blag
Can't find a light - 'Here, use mine'
'You see, the thing is I just don't have the time'
[Chorus 2]
Can't knock 'em out (can't knock 'em out)
You can't walk away (and you can't walk away)
Try desperately to think of the
Politest way to say ('Er, I'm really sorry, but not this time, mate')
Just get out my face
Just leave me alone
And, no, you can't have my number
'Cause I lost my phone
[Bridge]
Go away now, let me go
Are you stupid, or just a little slow?
Go away now, I've made myself clear (I don't think so)
Nah, it's not gonna happen, not in a a million years!
[Chorus 3]
Can't knock 'em out (can't knock 'em out)
You can't walk away (and you can't walk away)
Try desperately to think of the
Politest way to say ('Er...')
Just get out my face
Just leave me alone
And, no, you can't have my number
'Cause I lost my phone
[Chorus 4]
Can't knock 'em out
You can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the ('Uh, actually, I'm getting married next week')
Politest way to say
Just get out my face
Just leave me alone ('No, no, seriously')
And, no, you can't have my number
'Cause I lost my phone
[Outro]
Oh, oh no my- I've got to go, my house is on fire! [Laughter]
I've got— I've got herpes!
Err, no, syphilis!