For years and years I searched for some kind of meaning
Desperate and depressed, I was a sad sight to see
It took me way too long to discover that I am in control
I am the generator, the motivator
Only I can decide my purpose
And only I can navigate my way
I will not be constrained by expectations others have of me
Instead I'll follow my own pa**ions; work to realize my dreams
But it wasn't always quite like this
And no matter how hard I try to avoid it
The temptation will return
Take your own life, you are nothing
Your pain is permanent
It appears with no warning, destroying my sanity
Self-hatred embodied, I must escape
Fearing for my safety, I fled to the pen and paper
To explore the cause of my distress: my mind, my own lonely frontier
In the absence of love and without any direction
I looked deep into myself, not seeking hope, but seeking answers
Answers that were nowhere to be found
Why does this happen to me? It seems my mind is unsound
How can I ever escape this emotion?
I was defeated by my own introspection
I had no one to run to, nowhere to go
Bound tightly in chains that I'd fashioned myself
Witless and weak, I knew no way out
In a desperate bargain I begged for d**h to take me away
It always returns
It appears with no warning, destroying my sanity
Self-hatred embodied, I must escape
I must escape from the violent, self-consuming fantasy harbored inside
I crave an outlet to explore my insanity
I seek the tools to build a realized life
I will share my perspective with the world
This isn't for your sake, but rather my own
in this expression I have found my home
Paying my contribution to culture while
relieving myself of a deadly burden
forging confidence where it was never found
I have freed myself from the bondage
I will walk where too few dare to tread
One day I'll gaze upon my creations
And thank myself for never giving in
I know this is all I have to give
A small piece of myself that in my dreams will travel
Far and wide to make its home inside
The minds of others who live in fear
It seems I've found a solution
I'll put an end to my suffering
I'm no longer searching for my way out
That battle's been fought and won, for now
Instead I will only seek to better myself
Leaving nothing but love and hope behind when my time comes
I'm no longer searching for my way out
That battle's been fought and won, for now