Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals) Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals) Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals) Ike willis (lead vocals) Peter wolf (keyboards) Arthur barrow (ba**, vocals) Ed mann (percussion) Vinnie colaiuta (drums) Central scrutinizer: Hello there...this is the central scrutinizer... joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all the other criminals from the music business...you know...the ones who get caught...it's a ho E place, painted all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other... (as the central scrutinizer chuckles to himself for a moment, father riley, who became buddy jones, steps into view in his new identity: father riley b. jones, prison chaplain, who, in a rather -handed piece of imagery, is now entrusted with the job of singing this song as he a**ists the captured executives in their quest for new meat to plook, and, once having found these victims for Rinces of the industry, trades them little blobs of sanctified lubricant jelly for cigarettes and candy bars while he holds them down so the execs won't have to work too hard when they stick it ...anyway, listen, while he's in there he meets this guy who used to be a promo man for a major record company, named bald-headed john... king of the plookers... Father riley b. jones: This is the story 'bout Bald-headed john Former execs: Dong work for yuda, Dong, dong Father riley b. jones: He talks a lot 'n' it's Usually wrong Former execs: Dong work for yuda, Dong, dong Father riley b. jones: He said dong Was wong, 'n wong was kong 'n dong work for Yuda, 'n john was wrong Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Dong work for yuda Dong, dong Sorry john Sorry better Try it again He said dong Was wong And wong was kong And dong was gong 'n john was wrong Father riley b. jones: John's got a sausage Yeh man John's got a sausage Yeh man John's got a sausage That'll make you fart John's got a sausage That'll break Your heart
Make you fart And break your heart Don't bend over If you are smart He took a little walk To the weenie stand John's got a sausage Yeh man A great big weenie In both his hands John's got a sausage Yeh man He s**ed on the end 'til the mustard squirt He said, "ya'll stand Back 'cause you Might get hurt" Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again John's got a sausage Yeh man Sorry john Sorry better Try it again He said dong Was wong Wong was kong Kong was gong 'n john was wrong Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Make way for the Iron shaschige Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: I need a dozen towels So the boys can take A shower Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Bartender, bring me A colada and milk Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Well, on second thought, Make that a water... Hto Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Falcum... Take me to the falcum! Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: I wave my bags Did you wave your'n Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Well how much Did they wave? Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Ah'm almost two Kilometers tall Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: This girl must be Praketing richcraft Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Bald-headed john: Don't worry about The f*ggot I'll take care of The f*ggot Former execs: Sorry john Sorry better Try it again Try it again, Try it again Try, try, try again... Etc., etc., etc. Bald-headed john: Your pomona is Very extinct... Yeah, i studied with The dong of tokyo 'n also with the Oriental kato... My body contain Uh water I just loves the way These copenhagens Talks! Driver, mcdoodle... Sausage Salima Salami That looks like that Stuff that freckles Lets out Once a mumfth...