She looked better in her MySpace profile, no smile
Looking to the ground all obscure and docile
Her hair was quite cool but her clothes were not
Suppose we all looking better when we're photoshopped
She said "Damn you're so much buffer in the flesh you know
Will you sign my dress and all my CDs, your show was well professional
Say you ain't forgotten me from Nottingham Thursday
I'm really f**ing loving you but not in a nerd way"
Let me tell the tale of my very first stalker
Not a lady but a man named Damien Walker
I get a six foot bloke with a bad crew cut
While others get hot girls who just want to-
Damien on MySpace would message me each day
After a week became very little left to say
Then he said "We should maybe meet up at the show
I gotta show you something you're gonna love, I just know"
[CHORUS:]
She follow me home
She follow me home
She see me once and now she never leave me alone
Don't follow me, no
Don't follow me, no
If I see you at a show I'll grab my mic and I'll go
She follow me home
She follow me home
She see me once and now she never leave me alone
Don't follow me, no
Don't follow me, no
If I see you at a show I'll grab my mic and I'll go
Then she pulls out her ticket stubs, shoves 'em in my hand
I say "Yeah that's wicked love you really are a fan"
She's seen me with Hadouken, The Rifles and The Streets
Clearly she was eager but she still seemed sweet
She said "Okay Mr. Gleave can you sign my dress?"
But as I went to write my name she pulled out her breast
I stared at her tit and then froze
She had a tattoo of my face with her nipple in the middle as her nose
That's an opening line that will make you shiver
Then a week later you find your corpse washed up on the river
I didn't wanna read on but I had no choice
Though now I read each line in a more menacing voice
He said "You see I've got your lyrics tattooed on my hip
Now that proves I'm the number one fan of you Pip
I'm gonna get some more done but this time even bigger
On my neck under the tattoo of a swastika"
[CHORUS]
Uh, okay that's a real nice picture
I must say that I'm flattered that my head's on your tit, uh
I didn't wanna tell her that I thought she was nuts and s*ut
Saw her arms and I noticed some cuts
She said "Aw, don't worry, the scars are faded
I tried to k** myself when I heard you had a lady"
I signed her duffs, grabbed my moby and wrote
Shina call the bodyguard and get me a quote
He said "I love that you're a part of the rise in white rapping
Mike Skinner, Example, Plan B and Just Jack
I can understand what you're saying and I'm happy with that
We've made the genre our own and we ain't giving it back"
Now was I more offended that he only liked my music 'cause I'm white
Or because he seemed to think me and Just Jack were alike
I messaged back saying "I don't really need your props loser"
Send, move the mouse and then just click "Block User"
[CHORUS]