She walked to the top of the park and looked down. "I am Princess and this is my kingdom. I am Princess and this is my crown" she thought, staring at the cars glistening over speed-bumps below, grey clouds mottled, hanging low over the roof-tops
Sitting on the bench she had to pull her jacket tight
Summer was gone
The tree stump where she had sat the Spring before had grown moss, so she lay in the gra**
She hoped if she lay there long enough then someone would find her
After about an hour nobody came so she stood up and walked the long way home down Morrell Avenue
When she got indoors it started to rain
She was thinking about the party she was at the night before
Someone there had said that there were some people upstairs lying in a line on the floor in the dark
They were high
She said: "Like who?"
They said: "Like, everyone."
She a**umed that by this they meant anyone who was cool
Well, the thing was, they were on uppers and she really couldn't think of a worse combination
People in Oxford didn't know how to do d**. So she went into the kitchen
The guy she had come to the party with was ignoring her because this other girl he liked was there
"He loves her." she thought
What's worse was she didn't really care
Perched by the microwave, smoke from her cigarette got up her nose
These two girls had been giving her uglies all night
Perhaps it's because she hadn't bothered enough with her clothes, she thought, looking at her plimsolls and fading tan
Summer was gone
One of the girls was looking at her pierced to poise, all porcelain, her face like second-rate lead paint and cold cat eyes, synched belt like upholstery 'round her thick waist, dark lips shining red like a place the sun can't
She stared blankly back and got up, went upstairs, walked into a room
It was a boy's room, she could tell
A Stale taste of nicotine and Special Brew
She looked at the coppers on the top of the book case and his DVDs: Amelie, La Haine, Way of The Dragon, Die Hard
There was a Radiohead poster on the wall, a keyboard in the corner, neatly stacked CDs and a PC, tobacco coloured curtains, a window half-open breathing out over the backyards and skips
She felt a hand on her shoulder
She turned 'round
What seemed like an hour had pa**ed as he continued to thrust himself into her, her knickers pinching her thighs, jagged hip bones, summer holidays holding all Sepia in the back seat of her brain
She waited until it was over
He got up, buckled up
She had stared at his face in the dark
His gla**y eyeballs caught the light from beyond the window
She thought of how romantic this could have been
She imagined him stroking her face but he was gone
She lay staring at the ceiling
A car stalled on the street below and someone was calling a name but it fractured in the night air, the different syllables colliding
It wasn't hers, she had thought
She lay there trying to figure out the tune on the stereo
From downstairs she could hear a ba**-line
A slow, heavy beat
One, two, three
Wake up