[Verse 1: Ashtin Larold]
Yo, Ashtin, motherf**er, and I'm back for more
Skin tone whiter than décor in an Apple store
Spittin' cyanide like the seeds in an apple core
My rhymes the reason every single rapper's poor a** is sore
Yeah, I spit that fiery heat
The kind of sh** to knock you back 'til you recline in your seat
I am the peak
Meanwhile, you vaginas are weak
My tongue is sharper than a scythe; that's how I'm reaping this beat (ayo)
And nobody could ever copy this
I'll see all you f**ers in H-E-double-hockey-sticks
I've been at the tippy-top of Santa Claus's naughty list
Since the time when video games came on floppy disks
Yeah, there ain't no way you kids could f** with me
I'm the top dog, you're just some Shih Tzus sittin' under me
You're dicking me so hard, and now you reek of my from-under cheese
You f**ing geeks are underneath my grundle; please quit s**ing me
[Interlude 1: Ashtin Larold]
Think this sh**'s a substitution for a rap battle?
You still ain't gonna win
Yo
[Verse 2: Ashtin Larold]
Listen up, my sh** is heavy like some thick cream
Your sh** is worse than one of Eddy's get-rich-quick schemes, yeah
And all you limp-dick pricks be
Simpletons; I'm flying circles 'round you like a Frisbee
b**h please, you can't stay on pace
I make hits with my voice, call me Tay Zonday, okay
And God damn's what I'mma make y'all say
My bars hit harder than an overcharged "kame-ha" wave
What you find hard, I find extremely easy
You're an '87 Honda, I'm a brand new Lamborghini
I'm the lyrical equivalent of James Gandolfini
I'll break your f**in' knees while I eat some fettuccine
You're better off if you quit while you're ahead
'Cause I torture f**in' rappers 'til they wish that they were dead
I'll rip apart any sh**ty bar you've ever said
I'll take away your pride and leave your confidence in shreds
[Interlude 2: Ashtin Larold]
Calling out, uh, Kopp, again, f**er
Chuck, Chris, and, uh, Matteo
Why not, dude?
[Verse 3: Mat4yo + Ashtin Larold]
He said, "Why not? Let me call out Matteo"
He call out so many great rappers, how could I just say no?
Blow it up like C4s, here's the "T-4"
Like bacon, lettuce, and tomato, all I'm missin' is the "mayo"
I'm the mayor of that way-out place where ladies yell "Way-ho"
And the place where they say "Day-o" in the middle of the day, okay though
I take no prisoners, mister
You must have missed the information presentation while you're home with Jill fornicatin'
I say, yo
You be a little bit booty like J-Lo
Oh, wait, no way doe
Better be today, yo
Don't wait no more
I'm needing to beat it to speeding up all of the reasons you s**
Like, "Aw, man, I ain't got no time to write this sh** up!"
You ain't make it past the prelims, let alone be a contestant
Why you always thinkin' that you ain't the one to be messed with?
The best part is when you bring a person's girlfriend into question
Like, man, I make your chick so lovesick she gonna need the D-congestant
You think I'm a puppet, I know what you mean-a
I ain't gon' marry Annette, I said I'mma marry Christina
I beat a beat up 'til it's bleedin' out, I make it shout for help
If you could ever k** a beat, that's just k**ing the kind of yourself
That's so kind of you, I'd love to sit back, relax
Have a healthy snack while you ask to give yourself the ax
If you want me to hear out your best rap
That'd be like me eating the world's tastiest bucket of crap
You ain't gon' hear me say "I'm back" 'cause I ain't ever gonna leave
This game is Blue's Clues; I'm Joe, you're Steve
I'm the scleeb they wanna see creepin' on their TV screens
I'm the Giant, you're just Jack; nothing but a "has-bean"
You co*ky shot-shooter, stop spittin' poppyco*k
My flow makes hoes explode, you can't amount to that with popping rocks
Chillin' at the bottom spot, sittin' next to honky-tonk
More out of place than a monkey called Donkey Kong
I admit there's a little bit bettersome brethren taking the titles I want
I'm spittin' a little bit better and better, I never been better when fightin' 'em off
I'm the winner, no kidding
I'm sittin' on stage, crowd enraged
Gaze into my face, see these eyes?
This guy's Mr. PVI
Feed me fries, guys
Catch you workin' Mickey D's
I'm just gon' keep spittin' these
While you dream of triple-D's
Bite into the apple thinkin' you're as fly as Joe Wright
Why they not clappin'?
Oh right, that apple's for Snow White
[Outro: Mat4yo]
And I don't kiss any wussies
You've all been challenged