[Danny Sexbang] Hey kids, would you like to hear a fun story about Sonic and Tails?
[Kids] Eat a dick!
[Danny] Great! Here we go!
[Narrator]
Sonic the Hedgehog, hero to all
When the world needed saving, he would answer the call
His little friend Tails a part of the team
But he was sh**ty and small, and had low self esteem
So when they gathered all the Chaos Emeralds
Tails hid them and put them under his genitals
He pawned them all in spending spree
For his crippling addiction to PCP
"Come on" Sonic said, "Let's go collect rings
And run through the meadow and jump on springs
We'll laugh and we'll play all day and all night
Why, your eyes are red, Tails, are you feeling alright"
[Tails]
Yo, f** your rings, Sonic, it's time to get real
I wanna k** a motherf**er just to see how it feels
If you dare to come at me, you better come at me strong
I'll break your sorry-a** legs if you look at me wrong
I'm Tails the fox, you little b**h, and I'm on the attack
My endocrine system is f**ing riddled with crack
Now I've got hallucinations that are out of control
And I can taste colors, and I'm gonna skull f** your soul
[Sonic]
"Hey Tails, we've got fun times in store
What's the first thing you'd like to do today?" (who*eS!)
"Ha, you're funny, we'll have a great time
There are lakes to swim in and mountains to-" (who*eS!)
[Narrator]
So, Sonic and Blaze played a game of lacrosse
While Tails slammed a bunch of s*uts like a boss
He was about to bust nuts all up in a ho
When Robotnik showed up (Aw hell no)
Tails knew he must defend the whole city
So he stopped doing blow on the hooker's stank titties
Sonic said "Robotnik you gosh darn clown
I'm gonna jump on you until you fall down"
[Tails]
Hey stand the f** back, I've got a better solution
It's time for old school, street justice d**h execution
Robo-b**h, here's some motherf**ing caps for your head
Blaow blaow, now that egg-shaped co*ks**er's dead
I'm Tails the fox, do I have to f**ing say it again
I am exploding with evil that you cannot comprehend
I just committed a murder, but there is no time to rest
Let's get our friends over, have a giant forest f** fest
[Narrator]
Sonic was too traumatized to reply
It was the first time he'd ever seen another man die
But it wasn't the last
Tails made sure of that
When he broke Big's spine and wore his a** as a hat
Tails the fox, his mind is blown
And he'll kick you right in your special zone
I think I'm gonna call the cops on him
But he will never know about it
Oh f**! (gunshots)