[Intro]
Let's go
Yo! Wow! Synners!
Shouts to Dag Nabbit
Benny Huge! I'm back
And I still haven't got any friends
Or new ideas apparently
Never mind
Check it
[Verse]
I tried to act sociable with the guys down the local
But soon realized that was still a tad hopeful
Muggins here bought them all lager and crisps
They went to smoke and left me looking after the drinks
I tagged along with a gang of vagabonds
A proper chav-a-thon; they all thought I was a ma**ive ponce
Half of those lads had been slapped with ASBOs
While the other half spent the week sat in Ladbrokes
I started chilling with some hippy types
In an eco-village that's a little like a building site
I found out they're all posh kids in disguise
And all stay with Mummy back in Surrey when it's Christmas time
I tried to get friendly with some trendies
To my surprise their whole style didn't offend me
After going through all that hardship at school, this year it turns out wearing gla**es is cool
I started chilling with some ex-garage ravers
Who used to get their nights shut down because of bad behaviour
Nowadays they make watered-down grime/pop
And all of them are sickeningly rich while I'm not
I met some UK hip-hop heads on the Internet
Thinking, “Yes!” This is where I'll still be getting big respect
I asked them if they liked Syntax, Stig and Jehst
They said, “'Low those neeks” Now we like Giggs and Ghetts
I started chilling with some indie kids
Their band was getting really big after learning three simple riffs
They got signed after hardly any practice, now I'm thinking maybe Oasis weren't that sh**
I met some artists who thought that they were special and incredibly edgy
Because they were off to paint with stencils
How ironic! They were so pompous that I ended up shouting, “Get a job you tossers!"
And then I met some footy hooligans
Who treated kick-off in the match like a mission to Jerusalem
I wish I had a new joke to make fools of them
But basically they're still c*nts and somebody should neuter them
I met some lads who had recently outed
At first I had a bad feeling about it
What a night! We've got some dope photos
The lads showed me a great time – no h*mo
I met some nasty girls who looked like Barbie dolls
Who wouldn't shut the f** up about Cheryl Cole
One threw a fit full of poisonous venom
Then she went and kicked the sh** out of the toilet attendant
I met a couple into S&M
Nothing they ever say would make me want to have s** with them
The guy said, “Alright, but keep quiet for Pete's sake”
“Now I'm back in government, the press would have a field day”
At this point I thought I needed help
I mean, there's got to be a problem if I've bothered to repeat myself
I told them all, “Fine, do what you like to”
“Just make sure you buy the Benny Huge album on iTunes”
Or BandCamp, yes, preferably BandCamp
Or just send me a message or something on Myspace
Or whatever the kids are into
I'm an approachable guy; I'm friendly
We can make a deal
Don't just nick it though, that'd be a bit sh**
Thanks. Some hip-hop sh** y'all
Synners!