[Intro] One, two, one, two, three, four... [Verse 1: Jesse] Well I can't tell if I'm shaking from the DTs or the cold By the way I'm feeling sh**ty man, this routine's getting old [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 2: Jesse] Well I wake up suffocating cause my lungs are filled with tar I've wasted far too many hours blacked out at the bar [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 3: Whitney] Well I feel so distant from a life I wanted years ago Torn between this road I'm on and where I called home [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 4: Whitney] Chained down to a city, to a lover, to a bed A door has swung right open, I'll just step out here instead [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Chorus] I'm self-destructive, no one can save me You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Why would you love me? You should learn to hate me I'm going nowhere fast... (Trumpet part one of three!) [Verse 5: Whitney] Well, you know I'm feeling guilty cause I never seem to call Even though I'm far away, this world just seems so small [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 6: Whitney] b**h though I'm broke I still have money for this beer The letters that I wrote to you, you can't see them from here [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? (The Weasel Baby everybody!) [Verse 7: Geoff] Standing out [?] and maybe a bit more My friends far away are the best things that I've got in store [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 8: Geoff]
Driving down the interstate, going way too goddamn fast A few more hours, we'll be crashing, then later on we'll laugh [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? (We The Heathens!) [Verse 9: We The Heathens] All we've had for days on end is liquor, beer, and speed Don't know what we're doing, but we think we need to eat [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 10: We The Heathens] We're eastbound on the highway, my friend's broke in Virginia I've been [?] smoking crack with the RZA! [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why do I do this to myself? [Chorus] I'm self-destructive, no one can save me You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Why would you love me? You should learn to hate me I'm going nowhere fast... (Trumpet part two of three!) [Verse 11: Whitney & Jesse] Well I'm running from my problems, to my problems I ignore Nevermind my absent mind, f** what I'm running for [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 12: Whitney & Jesse] Well, we traveled to New London and got laid out on the floor f** being nice, I swear I will not be nice anymore! [Bridge] Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Chorus] I'm self-destructive, no one can save me You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Why would you love me? You should learn to hate me I'm going nowhere fast... (Last trumpet part!) [Chorus] I'm self-destructive, no one can save me You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Why would you love me? You should learn to hate me I'm going nowhere fast... [Outro] (Mom and dad don't know everything!) (Oh boy)