words and music by Nance Petit, Freddy Bradburn She was the secret daughter of Marilyn Monroe You could guess the father if you don't know Joan Crawford adopted and called her Baby Jane But we all knew her by a different name Chorus: Barbie, the untold story Just remember, you heard it first from me Barbie, the untold story Tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee Just when family tensions were at their worst She met her best friend Ms. Patty Hearst
They found a higher power over at Betty Ford's It was a vibrator on a ouija board Chorus She studied theatre at UCLA And dated OJ once, I'm sorry to say But then came Ken to star in her play She was shattered to learn that he was gay Chorus Made a career leading cheers for the LA Lakers Then became the main mistress of the Reverend Jim Baker Helped him hear his messages from the lord With a vibrator and a ouija board