Ned has a big Dutch wife
She sweeps the floors and makes the beds
Ned leads a simple life
But Ned doesn't know his wife
While he's off at work all day
She runs a brothel down in Vissertown
Skimming the daily take
And stashing the loot away
Life on the edge is grueling
Day in, day out
The evenings she spends retooling
Those powerful thighs
Ned has a big Dutch wife
And she has a top-shelf clientele
She has this special room
Where no one can hear a thing
The men with their inner lives
As grim and as grainy as Super 8
There's no manner of appetite
That Ned's big Dutch wife won't sate
Sometimes they bring her roses
Don't bring roses
Some might look down their noses
But that's no surprise
While Ned's in his bed asleep
She stuffs a bag with her hard-earned pay
And dreams when the bag is full
Of traveling far away
Traveling far away
Ned has a big Dutch wife
She sweeps the floors and makes the beds
Ned doesn't know his life
And Ned doesn't know his wife