[Verse 1]
The bottom feels so much better than the top!
So much better
[Chorus]
Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus cause you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as f** only just alive
[Verse 2]
Get up in the morning and you like your tea milky
You fumble for your gla**es cause without them you can't see
It's funny how I come round your house and I'm 20
And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me
I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label
You done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April
And you won't leave the house unless you're wearing your thermals
You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils
You're heading down the Bowls Club
Have another orange squash
Balls are rollin' rollin' rollin'
You can't walk right cause things aren't what they were
Your ankles are swollen swollen swollen
[Chorus]
Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus cause you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as f** only just alive
[Verse 3]
You're walking down the post office to pick up your pension
And then you're off to Bingo, it's become an obsession
So weary of the kids when they're wearing their hoods up
And even if they smile at you, you think it's a stick-up
You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons
Your saving 50p but what do you want with tampons?
You're always at the doctor picking up your prescription
And they throw in some K-Y just to ease up the friction
You got a leak in your colostomy bag
Yeah it's got a hole in hole in hole in
At the weekend you're shopping with your trolley
It's sad how you're rollin' rollin' rollin'
[Chorus]
Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus cause you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as f** only just alive