I'm sitting in a lawn chair by the dirty hotel pool
With a suitcase full of fireworks sparkling like j**els
And there's a girl around my neck who won't leave me alone
Won't someone get me out of here
Or won't someone take her home
The lobby's full of shipwrecks, drunk conventioneers
And the mermaid in the lobby tank is swimming in her tears
And the possum in the swimming pool is looking slighty sick
And the pellet gunned greasy kid pokes it with a stick
Well she tied the wicks together
And she lit them with no shame
Her face lit up an evil glow
From the burning school house of flames
She's the bottle rocket princess, QUeen of La Motor Inn
With a sparkler in her teeth and a flashlight to her chin
With a lady finger cap gun and she put on quite a show
She took off with my room key and came back in my clothes
But there's sugar in my gas tank and the battery is gone
And all the stars in the sky are lying on my lawn
So if anyone can hear me, if anybody cares
If there's anybody up there who can answer my prayers
I'll be in the parking lot with the losers and the jerks
I'll be in the parking lot selling fireworks
In a Jimmy Carter rubber mask she hollars out 'Hit the dirt
No one moves a muscle here and nobdoy gets hurt."
Oh say this isn't happening, please tell me I'm not here
'Cause the President just pinches my a**
And she whispered in my ear
All the love up in the heaven won't save me here in hell
'cause they tied me to the crime scene, from a hair on my lapel
I look around to try to find someone in here to blame
While the hangman makes collect calls
And he's spelling out my name
Well I'll be down at the fairground with a shovel and a broom
Where the candy floss meets the air
With a cheap teenage perfume
Where the cheerleaders gather 'round a suspicious silhouette
Where the devils trading souls for duty free cigarettes
Meanwhile back at the hotel, the band is tearing down
They're hitching up the horses, and they're sneaking out of town
And the mini bar is empty, you're covered in tatoos
So don't look to me my love' cause even god gave up on you