Every Christmas I’m a very good boy I put out milk and cookies for this guy to enjoy But Santa never brings the right toy I felt like giving up on all this holiday joy But if you’ve seen ‘The Santa Clause’ you know You become Santa if you put on Santa’s coat (oh) You can k** him, leave him dead up in the snow The elves don’t even care about you murdering their bro And so This Christmas gon’ be special to me I ain’t gonna ask for a car with a key I ain’t gonna write to Santa asking him, “Please!” ‘Cause what I want for Christmas can’t fit under the tree I wanna be Santa Claus So I’m gonna k** Santa Claus When I hear those reindeer paws I’m gonna break the law This Christmas, don’t gotta wish list, I got a hit list And at the top of it is old saint Nicholas Nothing against him, it’s just business I ain’t the Grinch but I’m gonna steal Christmas I made a list and checked it twice
For all the f**s I give about ending Santa’s life And I found none, I’ll travel at the speed of light If I’m Santa now does mean that I sleep with Santa’s wife ‘Cause I’m down son, fire in my fireplace Not talking ’bout this flying ship when I say Imma slay He gon’ die, son, Imma wake up Christmas day With all the dopest presents that I forced the elves to make They’re my prisoners I’ll never understand why this is The way that they decide who the next Santa Claus is How do people not believe that Santa exists In this world, aren’t adults concerned about all these gifts They didn’t buy I wanna be Santa Claus So I m gonna k** Santa Claus When I hear those reindeer paws I’m gonna break the law This Christmas, don’t gotta wish list, I got a hit list And at the top of it is old saint Nicholas Nothing against him, it’s just business I ain’t the Grinch but I’m gonna steal Christmas