You guys ready? We want everyone in the whole f**in' place to jump up and down a'right? Even you guys up there...stand up! Huh! Huh! Hey!
Try to pretend that you are comfortable
I guess I know you better than you think
Try to pretend that you are far away
I guess I better buy you a stiff drink
How could you try to forget what we once had
Better not tell anyone it was bad
Sorry I can't get any further away
You better deal, 'cause I'm gonna stay
Next to you, I never wanted to, but now that I'm
Next to you, I just can't help myself being
Next to you, there isn't anyone else
That I would rather do
(Hey!)
Try to pretend that you don't get a small chill
Every single time that I pa** you
Try to pretend that you don't want a big thrill
Even half as much as I know you do
I knew you couldn't forget what you once had
Even though it ended so awfully bad
I'm sure the second round won't end the same way
You'd better hope, 'cause I'm gonna stay
Next to you, I never wanted to, but now that I'm
Next to you, I just can't help myself being
Next to you, there isn't anyone else
That I would rather do
(Hey! Huh! Huh! Huh!)
Try to pretend that you are comfortable
I guess I know you better than you think
Try to pretend that you are far away
I guess I better buy you a stiff drink
Don't think of running away, 'cause I'll catch you
And make you sorrier than you ever knew
I know I've lost it, I don't care, so anyway
You'd better deal, 'cause I'm gonna stay
Next to you, I never wanted to, but now that I'm
Next to you, I just can't help myself being
Next to you, there isn't anyone else
That I would rather do
(Hey!)
Next to you...
Next to you...
Next to you...
Next to you
So...do any of you have the "Short Music for Short People" comp? (Applause) Oh, good. For those of you who don't have it, it's 101 of your favorite mostly Punk bands doing their own 30-second songs. So, this is our 30-second song...