When I poop on the floor I don't pick it up
When I pee on the floor I pee a lot
I puke on the floor when I go out to eat
'Cause puking on the floor just can't be beat
Puking on the floor is lots of fun
I puke on the floor more than anyone
I vomit on the floor like it's my job
One time I puked a whole corn on the cob
I get kicked out of restaurants 'cause they know my face
They don't wanna clean up after I regurgitate
I leave turds floatin' round, in the sink
Just because it's funny
People ask me what I think
I say I think it's funny
I knead my poop between my toes
Then I put my toes up under my nose
I take a whiff and there it goes
The smell of poop toes goes up my nose
My toes smell like cottage cheese
Mixed with poop, all soaked in pee
When I go and miss intentionally
My bowels move so violently
I sit on the toilet and bust a quake-r
Then I stand up, pee, and ruin the toilet paper
Nobody can use the pee-soaked paper
And that's funny
They can't wipe, not 'til later
And they smell funny
You walk in the bathroom, feet stick to the floor
What are your feet sticking to the floor for?
You look down, the floor is yellow
Poke my head out the stall, I say "Hello!"
You get mad, at my face you take a swing
But you didn't expect to be slapped by my ding, dong
You're like "What is going on?"
"I just stepped in pee and got slapped by a dong"
"This is all really very strange"
"Also your weenie is really deranged"
"I saw a face that smiled at me"
"I mean, who in the world has a smiling pee-pee?"
"Not that I've seen a lotta dongs or nothin'"
"It just seems weird, like vomit muffins"
I sit on the couch and hear a poot
I lean back and sniff, it smells like poop
I like that, in my nose
In my nose just like my poop toes
I take a rubber hose, I put it up my nose
I put the other end up my bum
You may think that is weird
But I think it's fun
I rip a toot and take a whiff
Just because it's fun
It's fun for my to inhale
Gases straight out my bum
When I do this it makes me puke
I genuinely enjoy it
I do all this in Applebee's
It's a good place to poop, puke, and pee
I like when my farts smell like solid waste
I then use my waste as a creamy toothpaste
I brush with haste when I brush with waste
'Cause I don't wanna waste that solid waste