[Chorus]
Dreaming about success
I know I'm not the best but I
Want to be the best
So I pray
All alone and I'm lost
I'm lost
Trying to find a way out (to find a way out)
Trying to find some help (to find some help)
I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else)
So I pray, yeah
I'm lost
I'm lost
[VERSE 1]
When I was a kid I spent my whole life chilling in my room
I didn't know what to do
With my life, I didn't have a dream to pursue
For I have autistic needs, social difficulties
But as I got older I realised there was more to life
Like the fact that I've gotta fight
For a dream, I had to go out and find
Interests, how could I have been so blind?
So I started off secondary school thinking I fit in fine
As a year 7 kid my mind wasn't right
I realised I was hated in a few years time
But back then I was out of my own mind
I was the kind of kid to screw up every time
I didn't have a chance to make things right
I didn't pay attention to the rules of life
I ignored every one of society's signs
I was lost, in a world of delusion and dreams
Child's play, child's dreams, it was tough to be me
I struggled to open my eyes and see
That to be accepted I had to fit with society
I punched someone in the face
I couldn't see the consequences at stake
I joked about it after I pa**ed that phase
But I cried when I got in trouble that day
[Chorus]
[VERSE 2]
A year later I still struggled
I couldn't stay out of trouble
Cos my mind was muddled and jumbled
I couldn't work out life's puzzle
I hated my life, frustrated with strife
So I went and disobeyed the rules of life
I knew I'd get in trouble but not all the time
But I felt good when I did bad so I thought it was right
I was an innocent child but guilt took it's turn
Blind to the fact that when you make mistakes you learn
I got hated more, reputation burned
My life was a beast that I hadn't mastered
I hit people, I was accused of stalking girls
I lived my life like I was a born sinner
A bored k**er, but I didn't have weapons to k**
Or lyrics to k**, so I didn't k** I just envisioned the thrill
I had a violent mind, I thought about homicide
At one point I thought about suicide
It took a while for me to get re-humanised
I wanted to have power but I was just juvenile
However I found the highlight of my year
I started to make my backstory, my vision was clear
Not fully but this was a start
I finally found something that stayed in my heart
Although it was worth it, the struggle was hard
It was stained on my mind like a watermark
Thoughts flooding my mind, now it's waterlogged
Life was targeting me like I was the cause
Well I kinda was, I couldn't find my flaws
I tried in life but I couldn't fight it off
I couldn't tell if people were lying cos
Girls broke my mind like a spinal cord
So my mind's dead, but my body's not
Seems cliched rapping but girls and thots
No she wasn't a thot but she was hot
In brief, I met her and was accused of stalking her
But that was just the start of this road I'm talking of
No we didn't go out, this was friendship, not love
I found my backstory but it took four years of
Goodness and evil but my life was worth it all
[Chorus]
Dreaming about success
I know I'm not the best but I
Want to be the best
So I pray
All alone and I'm lost
I'm lost
Trying to find a way out (to find a way out)
Trying to find some help (to find some help)
I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else)
So I pray, yeah
I'm lost
I'm lost
[VERSE 3]
The next year I faced bigger struggles
Got hated more, laid in the trouble
But not breaking rules, that's a different tunnel
I was living my life in the dissing jungle
I screwed up worse, I couldn't prick this bubble
Life hit me hard like I'd hit with knuckles
Hormones hit me, I wasn't used to being teen
I never gave a damn about y'all haters being mean
I never cared about how I was seen
In the back of the cla** while y'all hoes daydream
I didn't rap then so I didn't diss
I'd have got myself respected if I had one wish
Actually I wouldn't, I'd have wished myself rich
So I wouldn't have to go to school cos I'd quit
I wouldn't need a job or anything like that
Cos I'd go to the bank and invest all my cash
Anyway, back to the school crap
To the school crap, cos I care about all that
I found out more about myself and life
But I still had to put up with all that strife
My backstory evolved along with myself
But with all the haters, it still felt like hell
I started to break out of my shell
I was there for myself whenever I fell
[Chorus]
Dreaming about success
I know I'm not the best but I
Want to be the best
So I pray
All alone and I'm lost
I'm lost
Trying to find a way out (to find a way out)
Trying to find some help (to find some help)
I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else)
So I pray, yeah
I'm lost
I'm lost
[VERSE 4]
Year 10 I climbed out of struggle's ditches
But I still didn't know not to trust the snitches
Hoes' flows got me down low
I thought they were friends but they were all foes
Fact of the day, don't trust no hoes
They'll lie just to make your insecurities show
I didn't know no else besides what my bro told
Go walk your own path, don't follow
Screw peer pressure Han, I'm solo
Just try to avoid the worst scenario
So you now know what could go wrong
Saying stuff the hoes, that's how we roll
Don't flow with no hoes that's no go that's so low
The poll shows no hoes show emotion although no
One knows if someone's a hoe until they show no
[Quid pro quo](If you take something, you give back) so they get none but the hoes get it all
I thought I was friends with these snitches
They were on my hit list, hit list meaning those I be hitting on
So no I wasn't k**ing but now I'd be stealing
Their reputation like I'd do degradation
Getting them back for when they wrecked my place in
The reputation ladder just cos I was hated
Well through my eyes I was first they should've been second place in
That school overall, life and education
[Chorus]
Dreaming about success
I know I'm not the best but I
Want to be the best
So I pray
All alone and I'm lost
I'm lost
Trying to find a way out (to find a way out)
Trying to find some help (to find some help)
I wanna be somewhere else (wanna be somewhere else)
So I pray, yeah
I'm lost
I'm lost
[VERSE 5]
In my last year I knew that I'd be leaving
So to make it through I had to start believing
In myself so I blanked out these mean beings
Just ignored everything like I be sleeping
I stopped caring bout the hate I was receiving
If there was one piece of advice that I'd give
It would be that visions can be deceiving
Those hoes like T-Rexes when it comes to meat eating
So I planned a big change about 3 weeks in
Grow up, leave everyone when I'm released and
Live a new life like I've just re-conceived it
Leave my friends and haters, be a new me
Although I planned good, it wasn't all easy
I met those 2 hoes I wished dead for 3 seasons
Well now it's been a year and 13 weeks
I left my past, now I'm living life freely
Only things I kept were lifetime friends and family
Now I know how to see past the blasphemy
See through the lies to the actuality
My whole life was a lie 'til I faced reality
I developed my whole backstory after these years
I fought through blood, sweat and these tears
After all this time, my vision's cleared
I went through shed-loads of problems but I'm still here
So there's my backstory, pen to paper
If you want more details I'll tell you later
So that's all I've got, backstory and lore
Now that I've told you mine, what's yours?
[Chorus]