I didn't mean for it to be so bad
I got lost in my mistakes
And judgments from you I feared to take
Every day the beauty in your face drained
And said time with me is a cancer
With all the answers that I can't make
To cure your anxiety, hearing you lied to me
And I don't love you, to my face
You cried to me every day it felt like
I found fail forever and I held tight
So I could fall with you with my eyes closed
And no close to love life
But this fall has changed my autumns
Now wet skin is touched by cold wind
I stayed in my side in bed still tossing
Arms hugging close but no wins
Ellipse went from soft to just talking
My hands place where you've last been
And it's freezing more thoughts tease me
With warmth and what was now lost friend
Love changed her style to punk
The pain was played as a wilder trump
So while I'd say you could claim as a front for attention
Now listen and get what you want
All eyes and ears are on me for proof
I watch in dilemma of who thinks what's truth
And respond to your blame of neglect by use of this time
All I'll do is talk about you
Cause I've made mistakes but I've claimed
Everything without guard that I've explained
To clean a mess between two that's made alone
With hate you fail to help her do the same
Maybe I'm an animal worth hurting
A kicked Pit raised into an ugly person
Who lusts too much for life that lost worth
And began to snap at the monotony of searching
It only felt love with one but doubt
Placed your hand with worth of putting down
So it shakes when you open your mouth
Afraid it's wrong it'll never make a sound
See your touch wasn't placed to pet
In fear it roams and tries to forget
With any attention but kicks at best seen astray
Chewing the collar off its neck
You can't blame someone's life for flirting
When your life's spent building a case to hurt them
Neglecting emotions in secret you search and stare dead
Who sounds like an uglier person?
When I pa** my puppy at the door to kiss your face
You stay reacting sore and empty waste
So I hate myself for every day
I can't place why you hate me more
Fine, maybe I'm a guilty person
Maybe my faults made me worth searching
Maybe my blame is just, I'm just a shame
Or I lust too much you'll never trust the same
Maybe I'm too old and lost in fear
Of past faults and what they've cost
I guard what's little left with awe
But returning tears will blind anything you saw
Alone in judgment a room of nothing
I sit and think, alive in discomfort
Isn't it something ironic function
To k** my pride I drink to karma's crumbling
By the time that all done is mentioned
I consciously accepted the attention
Say I shouldn't stray if I felt that pain, I shoulda left
Your face formed my strength to walk away I guess
I'm a snake personified
A feeling of never, hate in human form
Of grip handles too late, a living lie
A piece of sh** to knock spit on a heart to dismantle
A face to target why
All past anxiety in need of new paths to channel
A place, for blaming eyes, to crane your neck
Your wings need the wind from a scandal
I'll take it, exemplify
Frame it in music and use it displayed on this mantle
Our hate, immortalized, the time that we waste
Put flames on both ends of my candle
Today, Josh'll die, this monster won't tame
My inner child shakes and I ramble
Afraid, claiming fine, but a lie
Like everything you said I made in examples
It's my mistake, I'm vile
I'm past the pain, unworth the while
A snake who tries [?] shoulda walked away
But I'd k** to see you smile
Alone I stumble no home, impatient
Hands that touched you in fists with blame
Burning my thoughts, judgments and shame
I see every day from your face, I hate it
This is how I'll be remembered, tasteless
Everything I might've done, erased
Till who I am's ugly a cancer a cage to age
And falling for always and crack to your hatred
Hope you found holiday's home complacent
His touch can hush any angst, feel safe
I spend these days alone pen to this page
Afraid on the stage I'll shake confiding my pain
Remembering times you were with me
When I fought for what I'm not worth forgiving
Shape of your face, soft is now changed
Lost in the ways you'll learn to forget me
Everyday ugly kickstarting my heart but I'm curt
Even worse the smile grudging my heart, what I'm worth
You keep judging and charging the dark, kicking dirt
Now I'm hungry with scars that start em, getting worse
It's likely the rage in my face that'll surface
[?] crooked, [?] worthless
You place with such hate, I take while she searches
Wilting we both lay and flirt anxious with purpose
They say, they say, they say, they say, to let you
Say, they say, they say, they say to let you
Say, they say, they say, they say to let you
Say, they say, they say, they say to let you go