Intro:
Announcing the arrival
Of your Gay Nightmare
It's a celebration
A lot of gay marriage going around
It's your gay nightmare
Verse:
Pardon me, man. Can you lend a hand?
Play Peter Pan in my never land?
This plane's got no wheels and never tires
No wings or fins but the engine fires
Explodes with injections of viscous fuel
You might call it a vicious tool
I call it my secret weapon
Cleans better than a wet one
Out-fires the best guns
Out-hoes the best huns
Steels your straight beam of light
He jacks your laser in the night
Some boys try to revile
To hide in straight denial
But all those that facts you may shun
Won't stop your ejaculation
It inspires infatuation
To see what I'm made from
Pencil, pen, Marks-A-Lot, jumbo chalk
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }
Write with something, 'cuz you can't talk
This trick's prick is hard as brick
Thick stick nickname for a guy named rick
For sure my straight shape tops his curl
Forgo boomerangs for my popsicle
Not a baby carrot it's got a peel
I been out of you too long, oh I need that feel
My banana's Voodoo long too good to be real
You'll know its true when I'm through with you
Wanna swallow my pride
Wanna drink my kids' lives
Get you chokin all night
Open up your legs wide
Break you on the inside
Nuclear submarine ride
Now you're saying byebye
To your beautiful wife
Makes you feel so high
I intoxicate you
On top of my steeple
I am all things
To all people
Givin' new meaning to common expressions
They don't say I got a big head
Cuz my ego needs therapy sessions
Just listen closely
If you want to know what that's about
It's like a grade-A jumbo egg shoved into your mouth
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }
Before it takes that trip down south
To Peru've [prove] that Uruguay [you're a guy]
That a Paraguays [pair of guys]
Can be paradise
Hot it ain't Chile
My thick slick willy
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }
Never been as swell a [Venezuela] time
With a girl or any guy
Wanting me to call on ya
I believe ya. [buh-lieve ya / Bolivia]
I know you want this guy-on-ya [Guyana]
Whether French [Guiana] or not
Lay you out prostrate
Greetin that prostate
Punished like apostates
Fill in like a proxy mate
You can't approximate
The highs to which I'll take
You when we fornicate
My size is inordinate
Throw you on the floor and take
Me in you're so fortunate
Just to get a little taste
Of my big bulging boy bait
And tackle to the floor say
You'll never get it half as great
Never take as heavy weight
Never make as many plays
Not even on your game day
Will you touch my ‘A' game
Like antelope you're my prey
I pounce on you every day
I k** these men
Been where Achilles been
Tear up all the Trojans
A bull forget the horses
Make husbands get divorces
Oh so heavy my load
Every time I explode
My streams got the salmon
My drink's got the tannins
I'll paint your bedroom white
You'll sleep throughout the night
I'm of your mother's ilk
Feed my baby warm milk
Putting you to bed
You'll drink from my head
Swallow gallantly
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }
From my Holy Grail
A Fountain of Youth
The truth you can't handle
Wax from my jumbo candle
Just call me Dr. Jones
Cuz man I'll make you moan
Got your number in my phone
Punch it in with my bone
Playin your ringtone
A bulging cupid dome
Elephantine for
Greedy hommes
In jeopardy, kicking, laughing
Moaning, near orgasm, perfectly
Queer
Rear
Savoring 'til u vent white xtasy [ecstasy]
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }
Your
Zenith
Achieved alphabetically
I know you want more of me
You red [read] between the lines
You saw me ad-orange-ya [adorin' ya]
You'll be blue when I'm through with you
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }
I hear you a-green [agreein'] with me
Picturesque scenery
Purple mountains majesty
My banana make you yell-oh [yellow]
I will make you groan
I will make it known
You ready to be shown
What's over that rainbow
You'll taste every flavor
Give you something to savor
Always more for later
Sting you with my rapier
They'll read it in the paper
How a young man fell
Ringing the tollbridge bell
{{Background Chorus:
"Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }