Intro: Announcing the arrival Of your Gay Nightmare It's a celebration A lot of gay marriage going around It's your gay nightmare Verse: Pardon me, man. Can you lend a hand? Play Peter Pan in my never land? This plane's got no wheels and never tires No wings or fins but the engine fires Explodes with injections of viscous fuel You might call it a vicious tool I call it my secret weapon Cleans better than a wet one Out-fires the best guns Out-hoes the best huns Steels your straight beam of light He jacks your laser in the night Some boys try to revile To hide in straight denial But all those that facts you may shun Won't stop your ejaculation It inspires infatuation To see what I'm made from Pencil, pen, Marks-A-Lot, jumbo chalk {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} } Write with something, 'cuz you can't talk This trick's prick is hard as brick Thick stick nickname for a guy named rick For sure my straight shape tops his curl Forgo boomerangs for my popsicle Not a baby carrot it's got a peel I been out of you too long, oh I need that feel My banana's Voodoo long too good to be real You'll know its true when I'm through with you Wanna swallow my pride Wanna drink my kids' lives Get you chokin all night Open up your legs wide Break you on the inside Nuclear submarine ride Now you're saying byebye To your beautiful wife Makes you feel so high I intoxicate you On top of my steeple I am all things To all people Givin' new meaning to common expressions They don't say I got a big head Cuz my ego needs therapy sessions Just listen closely If you want to know what that's about It's like a grade-A jumbo egg shoved into your mouth {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} } Before it takes that trip down south To Peru've [prove] that Uruguay [you're a guy] That a Paraguays [pair of guys] Can be paradise Hot it ain't Chile My thick slick willy {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} } Never been as swell a [Venezuela] time With a girl or any guy Wanting me to call on ya I believe ya. [buh-lieve ya / Bolivia] I know you want this guy-on-ya [Guyana] Whether French [Guiana] or not
Lay you out prostrate Greetin that prostate Punished like apostates Fill in like a proxy mate You can't approximate The highs to which I'll take You when we fornicate My size is inordinate Throw you on the floor and take Me in you're so fortunate Just to get a little taste Of my big bulging boy bait And tackle to the floor say You'll never get it half as great Never take as heavy weight Never make as many plays Not even on your game day Will you touch my ‘A' game Like antelope you're my prey I pounce on you every day I k** these men Been where Achilles been Tear up all the Trojans A bull forget the horses Make husbands get divorces Oh so heavy my load Every time I explode My streams got the salmon My drink's got the tannins I'll paint your bedroom white You'll sleep throughout the night I'm of your mother's ilk Feed my baby warm milk Putting you to bed You'll drink from my head Swallow gallantly {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} } From my Holy Grail A Fountain of Youth The truth you can't handle Wax from my jumbo candle Just call me Dr. Jones Cuz man I'll make you moan Got your number in my phone Punch it in with my bone Playin your ringtone A bulging cupid dome Elephantine for Greedy hommes In jeopardy, kicking, laughing Moaning, near orgasm, perfectly Queer Rear Savoring 'til u vent white xtasy [ecstasy] {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} } Your Zenith Achieved alphabetically I know you want more of me You red [read] between the lines You saw me ad-orange-ya [adorin' ya] You'll be blue when I'm through with you {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} } I hear you a-green [agreein'] with me Picturesque scenery Purple mountains majesty My banana make you yell-oh [yellow] I will make you groan I will make it known You ready to be shown What's over that rainbow You'll taste every flavor Give you something to savor Always more for later Sting you with my rapier They'll read it in the paper How a young man fell Ringing the tollbridge bell {{Background Chorus: "Ding dong. Who's there? Your gay nightmare."} }