Back among the flashing lights of Paradise, his lair
The Last Dictator sat in a chair
And of all the world he was unaware
Till his wife sidled up and said 'Sir'
(As he liked to be known to his family and friends)
'You're very quiet'
When he broke forth in a Southern drawl
The gems he'd gleaned from out-house walls:
'Make no mistake - Hate
Don't delay, don't wait to defend your realm and State - Hate'
'That's good, dear' said Eve with a prideful tear
'I'm glad to hear that it's no longer Fear'
Well he reached out and grabbed her firmly about the rear
And said 'Oh please, just one more beer
I'll do it - but just one more beer'
'Do you think you'd better, dear?'
She said in a voice so menacingly severe
The whole neighbourhood eagerly co*ked an ear
Well Dick laughed, and with a placating whine
Said 'Oh Evie, it'll be different this time
Now eat your humility soup
And get out my accoutrements and sacred wine
We're going to the top this time'
Much moved by his own words and several beers
The Last Dictator wiped his tears
As the Angels did appear
And said 'we'd like very much to hear
What exactly it is that you fear
That we may have this devil hooved
And we trust removed
Trust us'
'I trusted someone once
They said stand on this wall
I was but three foot tall
The wall was somewhat more
They said jump and I'll catch you
I jumped but I landed on a stone, with a groan
My leg was broken and that word in my name
Has never since been spoken
From this habit should I now be woken?
I trusted someone once
I trusted someone once
I trusted someone once'
'That you've been badly used is clear
Dick, that's a terrible fear
It certainly sounds like one rough night
Many would have given up your noble fight
Turned their backs and taken flight'
'Yeah, but just knowing that I was right
Has helped me through plight after plight'
'Tell us please how can we make amends
What can we give you, borrow or bend?'
'For myself I ask not a thing
I neither want nor need the comforts of a king
But the innocent need a strong wise hand
To help them navigate nature's plan
They need a teacher and one who's quick
Someone generous, kind, and strict
I'll need a big stick'
'Oh, we'll give you a very big stick
Not like any that you've seen yet
We've raised the money and laid the bet
The cat's in the bag, the bag's in the river
Here's an arrow for your quiver
So trust us, trust us
You can trust us
You can trust us.