[Conan O'Brien] "Here's the Whitest Man on Television with 'I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die'" I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die (Yeah!) I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die (We done it again) I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die (Coneezy O'Breezy) I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die (Booty Boys!) [Verse 1: Booty Boys] Yo I can't be saved, it's too late for me I'm going to H-E Double L when I D-I-E You could say I'm messed up, but I'm keepin' it real I'll sleep with your mom for a home cooked meal Give a guy with no legs a new pair of shoes And give Ben Affleck a bottle of booze I Call up Nick Lachey, tell him he's gay Then ask Jessica to spell Chevrolet [Hook 1: Conan O'Brien] I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die [Verse 2: Booty Boys] I sent Al Roker a box of crullers With a dozen jelly donuts and a staple remover I sent Abe Vigoda a cookie basket With some flowers and a catalog to pick out a casket Jacked Michael J. Fox for his time machine Then I grabbed a couple hookers and Charlie Sheen And got 'em all to take a trip back in time with me So we could pee on R. Kelly when he turned 14 [Hook 2: Conan O'Brien]
I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die [Verse 3: Booty Boys] I pick Kirstie Alley up out of the gutter Throw her in a ring with Sally Struthers Cover them with syrup and melted bu*ter And see how long it takes before they eat each other I challenge Stephen Hawkings to some one on one Slam dunk on that b**h like Alan Iverson Tried to race Andy Dick but he lost control Ran his motherf**ing car into Billy Joel [Hook 3: Conan O'Brien] I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die [Verse 4: Booty Boys] Push an old lady down a flight of stairs And pull out the rest of Ron Howard's hair And lock a PETA member in a room full of bears And hook Gary Coleman up with a job at the fair Keep an unofficial count of Star Jones' chins Cast Hillary Swa*k and Matt Damon as twins Start a petition that Conan will hate Get the Tonight Show cancelled in 2008 [Hook 4: Conan O'Brien] I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die And yeah... [Conan O'Brien] "This crowd's got rhythm!"