[Intro]
[Verse 1]
Yo, the art of hip hip is reborn when I enter
I chill with Cold duck and head South for the winter
We into douces some jazzy-type funk
Add a pinch o' Parliament, The Felonious Monk
The phonies get crunk and drunk
In the back of the club
We go above movin' posteriors and showin' love
We got Jeff D who press keys with his digits (Oh Yeah)
And on ba** we got Joe C, but not the midget
And last but not least droppin' beats with ease
I be Maciah blessin' ya'll like God when you sneeze
All MCs better listen closely when I'm flowin'
Cause when I'm rockin' yo there ain't no tellin' where I'm goin'
So without need for any further ado
I say peace to k**er bees and my 6 Floor crew
Put the drinks on ice and let the Cold Duck thaw
A lot a people like to cook but yo I like it raw
[Verse 2]
Yo check it out (Haha, do this)
It's the mad scientist, drinkin' beer out of a beaker
I'm Platypus Complex man, pleased to meet ya
Vaguely reminiscent of a primitive creature
But the only extra cheese I ever got was on a pizza
Beats are nice, the rhymes kinda s**
Ya asking if I'm down, yeah down on my luck
An odd duck showin' up at the potluck
I'm awestruck, aw shucks I think I got my balls stuck
In my zipper, I'm softer than a slipper
The only time I saw a girl naked I had to tip her
Nose-picker, no I'm not very hygenic
And the voices in my head keep tellin' me "I'm schizophrenic"
And when it comes to gettin' in the booty
I'm hapless I've gotten less play than Rudy
Truly not a player so I guess that I'm a hater
I don't smoke the chronic, I'm a chronic masterbater
The long waver, puberty's got me exhasperated
Mom says I'm a late bloomer but could it be that belated
Dilapidated, half a**, wack, emasculated
Mascarading like I'm nice, walkin' like I'm fast and plated
I'm va**ilated, indecisively procrastinated
Like to say I'm ill but I'd be lyin' cause I'm vaccinated
That stated, my rap flow's evaporated
Think I might was well go have my wind pipe lacerated
[Bridge]
[Verse 3]
Hah, I bet you thought that I was done
But nah, I ain't stoppin' till I'm rockin' number 1
Like who, Benny Hardaway a fine white-like chardonnay
I spread more seeds than conservationists on Arbor Day
I gotta say, in all modesty that I be a hotter ticket than your local state lottery
At the thought of me rappers brains start to blister
I rock shows got more flow than Price Vista
It's the, nicest kids and pistol bargers
I get crowds loose like electrical ma**agers
I'm not larger than life, but better than you
And yo I get heads hyper like amphetamines do
I'm lacking melanin true, but I'm a veteran who
Unsigned shows that one mind is better than two
Get you wetter than brew, you think I'm peddlin' glue
The way this sh**, that is little gettin' better than you
So don't settle for crews who drop rhymes it's just pathetic
Yo my home crew drain rap games like diuretics
Diabetics better look out, my sh**'s sweeter
Whippin' embryonic MCs like egg beaters
You wanna battle? Then yo you better practice
Beatin' me's more of a stretch than my jimmy in prophelactics
ba*tards laughin' while my beats still rap flow
All domesticated so I'm goin' international
Is that so? Actually that's a fact yo
Embarra**ed than parents that ask in a chateau
Bad hold, feel the fury of my rap flow
Cause when it comes to honeys I mack more than Apple
(come on)
[Verse 4]
So you tell me, do I look like a fool?
If the answer is yess then you can sample my stool
Hah, who's the man who eliminates fakes?
It's ABC-a-me so which one will you take?
If your answer is me, wrong I don't eliminate 'em
I just sit talking sh**, like a b**h how I hate 'em
Wait um, enough self deprication
I thought rapping was all about ego inflation
It might blow up, but it won't get bigger
You mean I could get paid just to say I pulled the trigger
That's outlandish
And yo I can't stand it
Cause the only get phony when the camera, come pan this
Burned, you think they had dicks like Dirk
The way they limping bowlegged with that fake a** smirk
And what's worse, you can see that they never had sk**s
But a loud enough voice will get your name on the bill?
You wanna learn something son? Pa** it to me
Bachelors, yeah I got my Master's degree
And I'm not ashamed to say I've got a PhD
A Post-doctorate in cold-sockin' it to corny MCs
Like that!