"You pa**ed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day
You installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramp
And, most recently, you dumped 100 pounds of... meat on a peaceful vegan protest"
"Oh, come on! That was way more than 100 pounds"
No one with a gut like this is a f**ing vegan
Meat, milk, cheese, [?]
I f**ing got it