Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb Well, he walks in the pawn shop, one thing on his mind Wants to buy a diamond but he doesn't have a dime He finds the one he likes and they cut him quite a deal A two carat solitaire but neither one's real Picks up the pay phone, puts it to his ear Calls his chick, collect and says, "Get over here" When he shows his girlfriend, she can't believe her eyes She never thought she'd ever really get one that size He tries to think of somethin' when she asked him "where'd you get it?" Down at diffie's pawn but he never will admit it He tries to change the subject, "Forget the wedding list Let's head on out to Vegas and get it over with" Flaws and defects, no billing ads Hope she never finds out how much he spent Nothin' else shines like a zirconia Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb Just outside of Vegas, the truck gets a flat She says, "We woulda made it if you weren't so doggone fat"
They try to hitch a ride from some hippies in a van To a ratty little motel called 'The S and M grand' Puts on her little nightie, gives him a little wink Ring slips off her finger, down the bathroom sink She starts to call a plumber, he begins to shout "Give me a coat-hangar, I think I can get it out" Fishes out the ring in a big ball of hair Slips it on her finger as he pats her derriere Thinkin' to himself, "It's a lucky thing A plumber woulda cost me much more than that ring" Flaws and defects, no billing ads Hope she never finds out how much he spent Nothin' else shines like a zirconia Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb Flaws and defects, no billing ads Hope she never finds out how much I spent Nothin' else shines like a zirconia Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb Wonder what it's worth, third rock from her thumb Don't tell him what it's worth, third rock from her thumb