LORDS (spoken) Your Majesty! BINGHAM (spoken) Your Majesty! ELIZABETH (spoken) Lord Bingham. Lords. What news of our Empire? LORDS #1 AND #2 Everything sails, your Highness, Troubles in France are dead LORDS #3 AND #4 Nothing in Wales, your Highness, To bother the royal head LORDS #5 AND #6 Taxes increase, your Highness; Even when gained by force BINGHAM Ev'rywhere peace, your Highness; Ireland aside, of course... ELIZABETH (spoken) Ireland? BINGHAM (spoken) Hardly worth mentioning. ELIZABETH (spoken) No. No please, Lord Bingham, mention it... BINGHAM Well... Only last week, your Highness One of our ships attacked Caught in a sneak, your Highness, Boarded at dawn and sacked Leave it to us, your Highness, We'll locate the Irish ship What's to discuss, your Highness; Everything's...pip! LORDS AND BINGHAM Rah-rah, tip-top Ev'rything's right as rain Rah-rah, tip-top Here in the Queen's domain Sea to sea to sea The English crown is holding sway BINGHAM Don't allow the Irish bog To taint the royal day LORDS AND BINGHAM As it has been! So shall it be! God save the Queen! England eternally
Rah-rah, tip-top Perfectly in the pink! ELIZABETH (spoken) The captain of this ship you cannot locate - what is his name? BINGHAM What's his name? I blush to testify And oh, you're bound to laugh when you hear why For, your Highness, it turns out, you see That he ... is a she ELIZABETH (spoken) What? A female captain?! BINGHAM Grace O'Malley is her name, She strikes at night - Countless cruel, bloodthirsty men At her command Were I not bound for Asia I'd fix Ireland myself ELIZABETH If your true desire Is to see Ireland Brought to heel We commission you Lord Governor true Of all of Ireland Crush the clans The pirates too BINGHAM (spoken) But, your majesty... ELIZABETH Do not tha-a-a-a-a-ank me- Kneel LORDS Rah-rah, tip-top, Masterfully resolved! One bold stroke, the Matter of Ireland solved! "Difficult," King Henry said, "To govern like a king." One day out, already You've a handle on thing As it has been! So shall it be! God save the Queen! England eternally Rah-rah, tip-top So goes the old refrain Rah-rah, tip-top Ev'rything's right as rain! Ev'rything's right as rain!