MAN #1
(spoken)
Donal, you were born to marry a queen! Too bad she's a ... Pirate!
DONAL
Clan O'Flaherty men,
It's touching to see you
Friends should share
A great occasion like this
With the dawn I wed my O'Malley beauty
I'll need help to face
The challenge
Of wedded
Bliss
I can see you're laughing at me already
My bride's been a captain running a crew
But there is a war, and war brings a duty
This calls for a man to do
What a man
Must
Do
Boys'll be boys,
Lads'll be lads,
Living the way God planned
Showing women how the world ought to be
MATES
Boys'll be boys,
Lads'll be lads,
How to get her in hand?
DONAL
Honest, friends, the answer's right there
Have you never broken a mare?
DONAL AND MATES
Boys are boys, and boys, that's how it should be
BARMAIDS
Boys'll be boys
That is no girl
How will a lad survive
She's a sort of lady shark, as it were
After the drums
Wedding night comes
Who will come out alive?
She's been a captain running a crew
She's k**ed people, ran 'em right through
Sorry, Donal, lad, I'm betting on her
(DONAL trumps the laughter at his expense.)
DONAL
(holds up a gold coin; spoken)
A gold sovereign says that I, Donal O'Flaherty, will have her eating oats out of my hand within a week!
(sung)
I'll be rough when she needs it,
Rough as seas ever were
Up to know she's been steering
Now it's time to steer her
She's confused about gender
She been too long "at sea"
I may well have to beach her
Take her inland and teach her
What a woman should be
DONAL AND MEN
Boys'll be boys
BARMAIDS
Girls'll be girls
ALL
Gotta have one last fling
Gotta cram a lifetime in before dawn
DONAL
Tragic it's not
Want to know what?
Marriage won't change a thing:
Listen, friends, a conjugal vow
Doesn't change a bull to a cow
DONAL AND ALL
Married man or not the party goes on