[Round 1: Chedda Cheese]
First of all, I never been a fan of your work
No songs I would ever play cause Dracula was the only good song you ever made
And as far as your film career, it's not that I don't endorse it
I've always just been too scared to watch House Of A 1,000 Corpses
And what are you supposed to be? Some sort of Swedish Jamaican?
That combination makes for some complicated communication
So choose a nation, cause when you say biyacan
I can't tell if you're saying "beer can" or "bacon"
People always confuse Switzerland with Sweden and he takes it as a diss
One mistake is all it takes to get him pissed
So the only thing that Chedda has in common with the way that you exist
Is that neither of us like to be mistaken for the Swiss
But the people think you're weird up in Stockholm
Because from ear to ear your jawbone is the beard of a lawn gnome
For you there is no winning, they say that my flow's sickening
Bone chilling, so thrilling, oh really no kidding
His favorite past time is gold digging
He shaves his mustache for smooth entry for nose picking
But I ain't saying he's a gold digger but Henry Bowers is a nose picker
I drop it to get props and I won't stop til I'm on top
Even you think you really gon' see me flop, give it all up and just stop
I don't care when your pitiful CD drops
Cut the ridiculous mop, looking like a degenerate ZZ Top chilling at King Of The Dot
Smooth as it gets, put you to the test
My 3-4 pound leaves your pound losing their breath
I never raise the bar for improvement so just give me that top tier opponent I'll prove I'm the best
Whoo!
[Round 1: Henry Bowers]
You calling me a "nose picker" no way
Everyone who watches battles knows that's O'shea
I learned my English from Inspector Gadget, it was crazy fun
Now I speak the damn thing as if it's my native tongue
And the journey battling has taken me on is an amazing one
But why the f** does it have to include me battling Bobby from The Brady Bunch?
Organik, I already battled Charron so I'm thinking maybe you being mean
Cause how many bars do you expect me to write about a Canadian geeky teen?
And if you actually think Bobby Brady is defeating me
Well that's about as likely as me shaving me squeaky clean
But what if he stepped his game up and changed his name up to Cheesy Puffs and quit spitting easy stuff
And started acting mean and tough
Well maybe then this baby can defeat this Scandinavian
Yeah right, and this Canadian drives a Mercedes Benz full of hot lady friends
Who are all craving him screaming, "Later when we're back at the crib we want you in our cave's again."
Conclusion, not f**ing likely so bite me
And speaking of biting you shouldn't take that sh** lightly
You took a little bit of Tricky P and a whole lot of Charron
And you came up with a style then you call it your own
Man, I flow on mic's like it's magic
Your flow is tight like your granny
And while I over k** you over bite like Organik
This sport is not for you so what you oughta do is to try and find doctor soon
Cause here's the honest truth, after this harsh dispute when I picked apart this dude
To honor his crappy memory they'll start to shoot
A 21 fart salute
[Round 2: Chedda Cheese]
Ayo, he compared me to Charron so now I'll blaze this dude
Cause he disgraced you too so this is deja vu
And he's got a Dungeons & Dragons club that he started up last winter
He and his friends pretend that they're some sort of mystical half lizards and mages who cast blizzards
No it's nothing to do with Klu Klux when I say your Klan members know you as the Grand Wizard
A bunch of teen virgins determined to keep learning about the life of black magic and summoning sea serpents
You're a naive person to think you'll achieve working
That moronic mythological magic on me Merlin
My syllables seem to carry I'm sick of this Swedish fairy
Who's thinking this Sweed is scary? You're sweeter than Swedish berries
And since I know you love your dreads I'll take a couple locks and cut 'em off
Your hairdo had you double crossed and left you looking dumb as rocks
So when I saw his mom and pops I wasn't shocked
His ugly bummy mother's got a muffin top and mutton chops
What I'm dropping is just a preview
Wanna spit with the pros then quick talking and let me teach you
I'm sick with the flow, you thought that nobody sees you
But this prick was exposed when I caught him on Google Street View, picking his nose
I'm who you'll never be, you a**ume you're better? Please
You're coming in second place, number two like the letter B
You're losing to Chedda Cheese
So it's funny that Captain Blackbeard can't even conquer two of the seven seas (C's)
[Round 2: Henry Bowers]
I'm actually embarra**ed to see my name next to yours on the damn flier
And yeah I'd rather look like a wizard than a gay a** vampire
And also ask yourself, what does Chedda have that Henry doesn't have as an artist?
Well, his virginity for starters
And I'm a big solid rock and he's just some damn pebble
And I've got a fan base/ba** and he's got a fan treble
I know that was sh** but anyway
Henry's the wonder man and ladies are wetting their underpants
Now let me put this in terms that Chedda can understand
You and your homeboys are wack as f**
Worse case of sh**ty Canadians acting tough
Since the casting of Battlestar Galactica
Which would've been a great show if you people hadn't frakked it up
And so say we all
I drop megatons, you don't like what you're seeing
See I'm Megatron and you're Micro Machine
I'm a sawed off shotgun
You are sort of not one
Still you're trying to act fly like you rhyme tight in the limelight
But I guess it's hard when you'd rather look quite like the Twilight guy, right?
I mean you're pale as f** as you look like you've starved son
But from them pimples I gathered you must've been s**ing the blood of MarvWon
In short, you won a couple of battles and now you're sorta amped
Going around thinking that you're some sort of champ
Well I'm thinking you're not cause here's the thing you forgot
You ain't no King Of The Dot, just the king of pimples and spots
I'm sorry for acting rude but is that acne dude or have some k**er bees with attitude been attacking you?
You look at my face and scream out, "Jesus it's k**ing me."
I put your face in the box; pizza delivery
[Round 3: Chedda Cheese]
Henry Bowers you're a parasite, don't even prepare to fight
Cause I'ma win it I can feel it in the air tonight
And Weird Al is my idol of parodies I care to write
But clearly you're the one who's living in an Amish Paradise
And no one in your country really knows you for your raps, come clean
Til today you've been living in the back unseen
So to Canada you're only known as that one Sweed
Who'd be nothing without Toronto; Mats Sundin
My rhythm rattles your dome like it's supposed to
I got that compatible flow, the sh** is old school
So leave the battles alone, you s** at rap as a whole
I'm in a cla** of my own like I was home schooled
Now, when it comes to rap you lack the parts of the brain that are so essential
Since every line is over your head you got no credentials
You need to sharpen up your mind, you're too dull and got no potential
That's why you're always missing the point like a broken pencil
But I'm only here to make it known you really should've stayed at home
Ruining your life like Tom Cruise did to Katie Holmes
I said I'd try to leave his age alone but you still write on tablets made of stone dated back to ancient Rome
Not bright but you were writing song and making poems when I was still collecting Pokemon and Crazy Bones
The days when you were jamming out to Danger Zone
And Pirates of The Caribbean casted you as Davy Jones
I'll prove that I'm the man and that you're the one we're laughing at
You just look retarded like fanny pack
And since English is your second language makes it hard to battle rap
I guess that means that both of us just battled with a handicap
[Round 3: Henry Bowers]
Okay, okay, that Toronto and Sundin sh** was true and profound
Apart from the fact that it's the other way around
Listen close cause these are facts
I actually heard someone some of Chedda's cheesy tracks
And I kept hearing wack flows on all of them and that shows incompetence
And now my ears are all lactose intolerant
So could you quit acting like a f**ing diva
When your tracks on, nobody wants to bump The Cheesa
And if any of your hoes are skanky to let Chedda Cheese in your p**y
It probably smells like cheddar cheese in your p**y
I know what you're thinking, "Charron already spit that sh**. Why you biting his rhymes?"
Well, cause it serves him right cause he bites all the time
Now, I'm shredding this Chedda don't care if you're thinking he's nicer
Cause I'm from Scandinavia, home of the Cheese slicer
And then I'll make a fortune cause back home
Little bitty slices of Canadian Chedda Cheese are pretty priceless
And please don't take this the wrong way
I mean priceless like the facial expression of Brigante
When he was told to "Shut the f** up" by Arcane
So I got crazy swag and you're ain't there, you're K.D. Lang, I'm George St. Pierre
You practiced and rehearsed for this for like four months
Still I'm not impressed by your performance
I'll f** his girl til she bursts and deflates
Stomp on his legs til his knees break
I'll bring heat waves and I won't stop until he's baked to Cheese cake
And you know what?
I'm having enough of your double time rhyming
Pitiful people keep talking about 'em
Said it was ill, incredible sk**s but uhhh
Nope, I looked but I never could find 'em
I'm [?] Chedda is better with medicine
His flowing is wack, it's holding him back so step it up or you will never win
And that's the truth