Sitting in the living room, staring at the decorations Feels so out of place in this house s**ing on a toffee apple, munching on some pumpkin pie Seems so out of place in his mouth Such incongruous cuisine, he eats a tangerine to clean his palate Someone get that man a mince pie, before he starts to cry Ding dong merrily on high What does Santa Claus do for Halloween Oh, woah oh What does Santa Claus do for Halloween Trick or treaters come ‘a knocking At saint Nicolas' door, but he ain't got no candy for them Trick or treaters getting angry, throwing eggs at Santa's door But he tells them they'll be sorry come December 24 This holiday it makes no sense, no Gold no Myrrh no Frankincense Baby Jesus would be taking offense
Santa's slouching by the fire in his jovial attire He collapses to his knees, won't somebody help him please? What does Santa Claus do for Halloween Oh, woah oh What does Santa Claus do for Halloween What does Santa Claus do for Halloween Oh, woah oh What does Santa Claus do for Halloween And he lights a Jack-o-lantern, and he throws it in the road And the kids all start a screaming as the lantern does explode But the parents of those kiddies hold old Santa to the ground Now saint Nick is quite surrounded and halloween is safe and sound What does Santa Claus do for Halloween Oh, woah oh What does Santa Claus do for Halloween What does Santa Claus do for Halloween Oh, woah oh What does Santa Claus do for Halloween