When I need something to help me unwind I find a six-foot baby with a one track mind Smart guys are nowhere, they make demands Give me a moron with talented hands I go bar-hopping and they say "last call" I start shopping for a Neanderthal The bigger they come The harder I fall In love, 'til we're done Then they're out in the hall I like 'em big and stupid I like 'em big and real dumb I like 'em big and stupid What kind of guy does a lot for me Superman with a lobotomy My father's outta Harvard My brother's outta Yale Well, the guy I took home last night Just got outta jail The way he grabbed and threw me Oooh, it really got me hot But the way he growled and bit me
I hope he'd had his shots The bigger they are The harder they'll work I got a soft spot For a good-looking jerk I like 'em big and stupid I like 'em big and real dumb I like 'em big and stupid I met a guy who drives a truck (Peterbilt) He can't tell time but he sure can drive I asked his name and he had to think Could I have found the missing link He's so stupid—you know what he said Well, I forgot what he said 'Cause it was so stupid The bigger they come The harder I fall In love, 'til we're done Then they're out in the hall I like 'em big and stupid I like 'em big and real dumb I like 'em big and