My father died now my mother stuck with this drunken ba*tard A drunken master he beats us but good for nothing after Im only 5 and I recognize he dangerous My mother's mind is blind and her feelings seem to be tainted And today mama gone for a quick appointment she scheduled Meanwhile im just a baby here babysitting the devil He sitting in his favorite chair wasted Sitting across him on the couch staring just thinking Like I can end it all right now no waiting His stainless on the table one bang he brainless I got up slowly Walked toward him picked the Glock Use his hands brush the hair trigger and took the shot Blood on my face and his brains all over the wall Hear screaming outside and then my name came in as call Its mama rushing through the doors crying Scream oh my god are you ok what happen So worried bout me didn't even see the f**ing hole in his head Looked up in shock and said no you CAN'T be dead So traumatized while mama crying and begging Then out here words for sorrow I hear her mumble she pregnant She think he was drunk and suicide did it In my mind i say (s** teeth) “we better off good riddance” 10 year later a teenager Mama on d** and gave it up to redeem paper Leaving me to clean and take care of my little bro Bad a** but I love him more than you'll ever know Named after his dad but we call him J.R Told him be lowkey in the streets gotta stay smart He always into trouble He always starting fights He always skipping school He always selling white Told him “quit that sh** mother f**a this ain't a game” He told me “ima real n***a I provide I ain't ashame And if you wanna help mama n***a you'll do the same You knew what I was doing since 8 and ain't do a thing” I said “you too young let me worry bout how we get it Why you never do what I say man you never listen” Stop me in my sentence pulled out a paper that caught attention
He said “look we got up til a month then we get evicted” Damn Me and my bro Scheming for dough Me with side hustles J.R. well you see and you know Mama still body selling nose still deep in the coke 8 years later Place to place Always needed a home One day I went to the store to take something back See J.R. at the corner pacing smoking a black He see me he ask ”where the hell you was at Called yo a** hours ago bro I needed some cash” As I'm walk up to him a gat waving out of a Cadillac J.r. pulled his strap bustin back battling it's a wrap And out of all that gun action what happen i caught a shell My whole life in a quick sight then a light to heaven or hell Ohh In and out but my vision blurred And all I hear is this beeping noise Then someone crying please get the nurse Then I can tell it's my mother's voice Finally woke to cop questioning me about the gun shots I told him I don't know them I was just caught in the cross fire I ask the doc …..when can I be release We got the bullets out and its been 2 days so about a week Straight out of the hospital pulled plugs for some connections To prevent events like this .. I needed that protection Yes I did Hopped on the train to end this beef he might have started Im feed up I gotta clean it up before my brother's life departed sh** got real But first I gotta check up on my mom at the apartment But guess what Open the door J.r. drunk holding ma at gun point I'm like “what the f**” draw my gun “is you crazy” He turned to me and said “n***a this b**h is shady” Do you know what she did I'm piss that its so degrading Replyin I don't care J.R. right now you being stupid Now put the gun down J.R. please DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS Stop f**in round J.R. not another movement You got bout 5 seconds put it down or im