My father died now my mother stuck with this drunken ba*tard
A drunken master he beats us but good for nothing after
Im only 5 and I recognize he dangerous
My mother's mind is blind and her feelings seem to be tainted
And today mama gone for a quick appointment she scheduled
Meanwhile im just a baby here babysitting the devil
He sitting in his favorite chair wasted
Sitting across him on the couch staring just thinking
Like I can end it all right now no waiting
His stainless on the table one bang he brainless
I got up slowly
Walked toward him picked the Glock
Use his hands brush the hair trigger and took the shot
Blood on my face and his brains all over the wall
Hear screaming outside and then my name came in as call
Its mama rushing through the doors crying
Scream oh my god are you ok what happen
So worried bout me didn't even see the f**ing hole in his head
Looked up in shock and said no you CAN'T be dead
So traumatized while mama crying and begging
Then out here words for sorrow I hear her mumble she pregnant
She think he was drunk and suicide did it
In my mind i say (s** teeth) “we better off good riddance”
10 year later a teenager
Mama on d** and gave it up to redeem paper
Leaving me to clean and take care of my little bro
Bad a** but I love him more than you'll ever know
Named after his dad but we call him J.R
Told him be lowkey in the streets gotta stay smart
He always into trouble
He always starting fights
He always skipping school
He always selling white
Told him “quit that sh** mother f**a this ain't a game”
He told me “ima real n***a I provide I ain't ashame
And if you wanna help mama n***a you'll do the same
You knew what I was doing since 8 and ain't do a thing”
I said “you too young let me worry bout how we get it
Why you never do what I say man you never listen”
Stop me in my sentence pulled out a paper that caught attention
He said “look we got up til a month then we get evicted”
Damn
Me and my bro
Scheming for dough
Me with side hustles
J.R. well you see and you know
Mama still body selling nose still deep in the coke
8 years later
Place to place
Always needed a home
One day
I went to the store to take something back
See J.R. at the corner pacing smoking a black
He see me he ask ”where the hell you was at
Called yo a** hours ago bro I needed some cash”
As I'm walk up to him a gat waving out of a Cadillac
J.r. pulled his strap bustin back battling it's a wrap
And out of all that gun action what happen i caught a shell
My whole life in a quick sight then a light to heaven or hell
Ohh
In and out but my vision blurred
And all I hear is this beeping noise
Then someone crying please get the nurse
Then I can tell it's my mother's voice
Finally woke to cop questioning me about the gun shots
I told him I don't know them I was just caught in the cross fire
I ask the doc …..when can I be release
We got the bullets out and its been 2 days so about a week
Straight out of the hospital pulled plugs for some connections
To prevent events like this .. I needed that protection
Yes I did
Hopped on the train to end this beef he might have started
Im feed up
I gotta clean it up before my brother's life departed
sh** got real
But first I gotta check up on my mom at the apartment
But guess what
Open the door J.r. drunk holding ma at gun point
I'm like “what the f**” draw my gun “is you crazy”
He turned to me and said “n***a this b**h is shady”
Do you know what she did I'm piss that its so degrading
Replyin I don't care J.R. right now you being stupid
Now put the gun down J.R. please DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS
Stop f**in round J.R. not another movement
You got bout 5 seconds put it down or im