Across this mighty land of ours, each state has its birds and flowers;
St. Louis has its Cardinals, and Baltimore its Orioles,
And Washington D.C. too has a species of its very own:
A high-breasted front-runner who makes every captive heart say,
"I wish I might fly away with..."
Luci Baines, she is no Jackie, but then who complains
She may be tacky, but she is the brains behind our foreign policy
Who else but Luci could it be?
Lately she has grown addicted to the royal "we"
She tolerates no impropriety when Bobby Baker comes to tea
-It's been a pleasure to serve you, y'hear?
Guess who all was there on my date with Luci Baines?
12 of Lynda's roommates
11 live reporters
10 Texas Rangers
9 Supreme Court judges
8 Stingray salesmen
7 Secret Service
6 geese a-laying
Lyndon B. himself...
4 beagles
3 congressmen
2 Baptizing clergy
Luci Baines and me
Luci Baines, just like her pop, her popularity gains
She loves to sing out all those old refrains...
Oh, those TV towers of Texas belong to Mom and me
You'll find no Texas real estate in the name of Lyndon B...
The eyes of Bishop Pike are upon you
My pop can make U Thant say no
Pop said, "Tut-tut, we'll have to cut, deep in the heart of taxes..."
Luci Baines, let other girls indulge - my girl abstains
But you should see her on the backs of trains
Why, she stands ten feet tall
Oh, Lady Bird is sweet, and Lynda Bird's a tweet
But Luci Baines, you're the biggest bird of them all
Oh, what a bird...
/////////////// NOTES ///////////////
1. The "baptizing clergy" - Luci was baptized Episcopalian, but became a Roman Catholic as a teenager. She received "conditional" baptism from the Catholics, just in case the Episcopalian baptism was invalid for some reason. The Episcopalians objected. Maybe Bishop Pike was one of those objecting, but I thought Bishop Pike had other issues on his mind.
2. TV Stations and real estate: there was something about Lady Bird and the daughters owning TV stations and other a**ets, so LBJ could appear to be "clean."
3. Burmese diplomat U Thant was Secretary General of the United Nations.
4. Stingray Salesman: I think I recall seeing a photo of Luci driving a yellow Corvette Stingray convertible.
5. Bobby Baker was a political advisor to LBJ, investigated for questionable financial dealings.