SPOKEN INTRO The time is the present, 1963, and imagine, if you will, a scene In West Germany where my friends and I are having a little party It's quite a private party, we're celebrating the coming holiday Season, Christmas, and the new year On the first day of Christmas My true love gave to me A partridge in a pear tree On the second day of Christmas My true love gave to me Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the third day of Christmas My true love gave to me Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the fourth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Four top Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the fifth day of Christmas My true love said to me To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the sixth day of Christmas We received from Israel Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the seventh day of Christmas The US sent us free Seven more million dollars Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the eighth day of Christmas My true love gave to me A Telefunken H-Bomb A Telefunken H-Bomb? Ja, a Telefunken H-Bomb Let me show you this Telefunken H-Bomb
It looks just like an ordinary Telefunken Radio Except when you're trying to get England YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ENGLAND! Seven million dollars Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the ninth day of Christmas We heard officially They got the wrong Eichmann Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the tenth day of Christmas Long Island sent us free Ten swastika scribblers Got the wrong Eichmann Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the eleventh day of Christmas We heard officially: "Monocles are back!" Ten swastika scribblers Got the wrong Eichmann Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree On the twelfth day of Christmas They told all Germany: "HE is still alive." Monocles are back Ten swastika scribblers Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles To Hell with Adenauer Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear - Merry Christmas, everybody - tree