[Verse 1]
The days been hard on me, I've had times I couldn't even stand
I just don't understand, I run to my friend for help
I lock myself in my bedroom
"Christopher, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, really nothing"
Everyday, I just can't live without my granny
I feel a knife through my f**in' tummy, I miss my gran and mummy
I feel like I'm gonna die, what am I gonna do
I can't plan a day, I always need help with sh**
I am in pain, feel like I wanna cut myself with a razor blade
I feel like I'm gonna fade, into the blackness
I can't rap this sh** much, it's just too much for me
I can't even see the light of day, usually I can
I'm still living with my father, I ain't got my own place yet
Ain't got a girl to love and to be cared of
I ain't got sh** for me in this life, ain't gettin' anywhere
I blew up in anger, I just can't have a, good time right now
[Hook]
Why in the world am I feelin' lonely
I just don't have sh** goin' for me, I feel like I'm gonna just walk into the darkness as I rap this in my crappy mic, I just can't stay right
[Verse 2]
I'mma take a pill, swallow one at my will
I'll still be the rebel that I think I am
I don't stay calm, a cut on my f**in' left arm
I aim with an AK but not shoot a bullet til someone goes in front of me
I am not a grown up, I'm still a kid in a way
I go in a mood, I ain't feelin' good as I walk through my old hood
Fall on the ground til I get back up but I can't so I'mma crawl like an ant
Every minute that I live it, I got a second to hold on to life in bad times as I live it
Sometimes sh** doesn't go for me when I need it to
When I need someone to help me through
No help needed is what people think
I don't need a sympathy, I just need to get back to being me
If that's possible, am I gonna be in hospital
Am I gonna be dead in my house, lying on the floor with pills and a can of Red Bull
Paink**ers, but yet I've got rhymes that I claim as illers, so when we live the days and the days don't k** us
I'mma buy 10 cars to roam around in. need money though
I find it hard to earn dough, as I have no flow
I need a flow to be iconic, but yet I'm ironic
I'm a dick, but yet I take paink**ers to get a kick
I am addicted to it and I need some help, maybe rehab might help
I don't know, what the days'll become for me
I am not giving up rap when I am not gettin' up
I gotta live it up to my full potential
I broke my last pencil, anger just gets to me easy
I'mma be the MC that'll spit f**in' dope rhymes
Write syllables when I need some co-codamol
[Hook]
Why in the world am I feelin' lonely
I just don't have sh** goin' for me, I feel like I'm gonna just walk into the darkness as I rap this in my crappy mic, I just can't stay right
[Verse 3]
I'm bitter sometimes when I spit a rhyme
I am a lot better, people just don't see that
I'mma let ya'll know that I'm the best, you'll ever know
Put you down with a gun, shoot you with one bullet
I'mma f**in' ripper, but not Jack
I am the demon that is so f**in' wicked that I created Jolly Sid
He's my ego that is so evil that not even a priest can make him good
He's the anger side of me, when I rage
He writes it on a f**in' blank page
I feel the flow when I go with the flow
I'mma show some potential when I rap
I use a keyboard, not a pencil now
I used to when I first started rap
Give my bullies a taste of their own medicine when I set a trap
You lost, rip up your map
You'll not understand it anyway, so stupid that you'll f** up a Ladbrokes bid
Learn some sh** that you don't even know, the facts poppin' up and waitin' to show
I'mma hit a hoe with a hammer til she grabs onto her life
I told ya I'm wicked, this is Sid talkin'
I bet, I'll get ya soul and give it to the f**in' devil
I'm so f**in' damn downright sh** when I spit, I rap a verse for the whole universe, I ain't gettin' writer's block now
I can think of lines a bit better now, yo
[Hook]
Why in the world am I feelin' lonely
I just don't have sh** goin' for me, I feel like I'm gonna just walk into the darkness as I rap this in my crappy mic, I just can't stay right
[Outro]
Jolly f**in' Sid (Sid f**ers)
NC Origan (Tells ya his origin)
2017 (Happy new f**in' year)