I was there on the day that you died
And I'm the only one here as they bury your hide
And this is the last time I'll be by your side
Well the world is one soul fewer
The preacher says the last rites so well
Says you're going to Heaven and not to Hell
But he has to say that and I know damn well
That you're Satan bound
REFRAIN:
So if you go to Hell
would you get me something nice
Maybe a T-Shirt or maybe a hat
or maybe some loaded dice
And if you go to Hell
would you at least send me a card
So I'll know how you're doing
And I'll know where you are
Well you never did care how much you did drink
And you never did care what the others did think
And I've got a feeling that now that you're dead
You won't even remember my name
I used to write and you'd never write back
I'd call on my card and you'd call me collect
You never bought gifts and you never left tips
But it's never too late for a change
REFRAIN
So go to Hell you ba*tard
Live painfully ever after
You'll burn for all eternity
No one rides for free
There's only one way to escape Satan's flames
If you're willing to pay to clear your bad name
This is the place and now is the time
So come on give me a sign
REFRAIN
Burn for all eternity and save a seat for me