Ted:
Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, as you may have realized in the past few weeks the Kennedy clan has once again been in the newspapers…but the whole scandal proves one thing. Unlike the Republicans, we Democrats are under the influence of something other than lobbyists.
My son made the news just the other day
He crashed his car in the Kennedy way
"I thought I had a vote!" was all he'd say
But the cops on the Hill said, "That's OK"
And I feel so proud when he says to me
Pat:
I wanna be like you, Dad
I wanna be just like you…
Both: Aristocrats since the cradle with a silver spoon
Ted: How about a Scotch?
Pat: Dad, it's not even noon
Ted: Well, when's your next vote, son?
Pat: I don't know when
Ted: Ah, we'll have a co*ktail then
Pat: Dad, it doesn't mix with Ambien
Pat: So I asked my dad if he was upset
Ted: Son, at least when you crashed you did not get wet
Pat: I'm off to rehab, no need for alarm
Ted: And I hope that the eighth time is the charm
Both: When you see Pat and Ted, it is plain to see
Ted: My boy is just like me
Pat: The apple didn't stagger far from the tree
Both: Kennedy's are unstable, that is just a myth
Ted:
My little boy's a pint off the old fifth
When you coming home, son?
Pat:
I don't know when
But I can say to my chagrin, Dad
Both: We still drink less than the Bush twins