Major:
Good evening, maggots. As you may be aware, a federal judge has recently overturned the don't ask, don't tell policy, potentially paving the way for gays to serve openly in the military. So I am here tonight to remind some of you good old boys that discrimination against gay soldiers will no longer be tolerated! Because we in the military have always believed in protecting our privates. First recruit, fall in!
Soldier 1:
Fighting in, Afghanistan
Fearless men, all buff and tan
They could kick, your bu*t today
Soldier 2: We're the men, of the queen beret
Soldier 1:
Brave young men, now in our ranks
Decorate and paint their tanks
Soldier 2:
Join the Navy, there's no way
Can't wear white, past Labor Day
Soldier 1:
Women now, have heard the news
New recruits, get sensible shoes
Lesbians, with guns take aim
Soldier 3: Melissa Etheridge is our name
Soliders: From Iraq, to Kyber Pa**
Soldier 2: You can bet, I'll watch your a**
Soldiers: The enemy now runs away
Soldier 2: Our battle cry's YMCA
Soldiers: We are fierce in battle too
Soldier 3: Just like Rosie on The View
Soldiers: For a slogan, we will say
Solider 2: We're behind you all the way
Soldiers:
Men and women round the globe
Battling not just h*mophobes
Fight and die for the USA
Soldier 1: Where they can't wed
Soldiers:
Just ‘cause we're gay
Jazz hands!