Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year stole many a man's soul and fate
I was 'round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and faith
I made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
Stuck around St. Petersburg when I saw it was a time for change
I k**ed the Czar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank held a generals rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
I watched the gleam while your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades for the Goth they made
I shouted out "Who k**ed the Kennedys?"
When after all it was you and me
Let me please introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours who get k**ed before they reached Bombay
Pleased to meet you hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal and all you sinners Saints
As I end this tale just call me Lucifer
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me have some courtesy
Have some sympathy and some taste use all your well learned qualities
Or I'll lay your soul to waste
Pleased to meet you hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game