Spoken:
I got back with together with my older brother during that time and we continued to drink, get into trouble. We come up one weekend and my step-dad had been beat my mom, which is common up there, domestic violence and we didn't care for that so we took our step-dad down and knocked all his teeth in and we put him in the hospital to pay him back for what he was doing. We got drunk that weekend, went back to the cities. We come back the following weekend to do it again. I dropped my brother and his girlfriend off at the house and I went to town to the borrow with my girlfriend. Few minutes later I got a call, and said that you better get up to Grand Rapids, your older brother got shot. And I said what's going on, you know. I took off and went to Grand Rapids Hospital and I went into the emergency room and he was laying on the slab in there dead. He was laying on a puddle of blood. And as I said before, I've seen enough d**h and destruction in my life to know, you know it didn't bother me that much, but what bothered me was that the only person in this life that I had cared for had just died. The details of it, my step-dad knew we put him in the hospital the weekend before. He was afraid it was going to happen again, so when my brother walked in he shot him in the back, just, as he said, self-defense. In Akenconey nobody has ever gone to jail for uh, murder, k**ing, or anything, they get probation, and Bob was his name, well he got six years of probation, nothing. No fine or anything. He walked the streets free. So as I said, as I was coming through all of this, it would just be one more way that harden my heart and after that happened with my brother I just decided that uh, no more, I'm not going to open my heart to anybody anymore, I'm going to keep that crack shut. Because when you open it up you get hurt.