Well young Mr. Simmons he was one of a kind
He had Tom Cruise looks and Ivan Bosky's mind
He made his first million by the time he was twenty three
He had a big black Mercedes with a cellular phone
Two Labrador Retrievers and a beautiful home
That sat up on a hill so that everyone could see
He had everything a man could want in life
But poor Mr. Simmons had to live with Mr. Simmons' wife
And it don't matter where you're goin'
If you don't like who's ridin' by your side
It don't matter where you're goin'
If you don't enjoy the ride
Well she married him for money 'cause she
thought it would be fun to be the envy of the Junior League
To have every girl in town wishin' they could be her
With a big box of diamonds and a room full of furs
Her luncheons with the ladies and the manicures
She climbed the social ladder 'til everyone could see her
Now Mrs. Simmons was a woman who had it all
But it didn't mean nothin' when the lights went
out and she was sleepin' down the hall
Chorus