(Spoken)
It was the pig fair last September
The day I well remember
I was walking up and down in drunken pride
When my knees began to flutter
And I sank down in the gutter
And a pig came up and lay down by my side
As I lay there in the gutter
Thinking thoughts I could not utter
I thought I heard a pa**ing lady say,
"You can tell the man who boozes
By the company he chooses."
And with that the pig got up
And walked away.
(Song sung a capella)
You've heard of General Wellington
Who won at Waterloo,
But there's a good old Irishman
I'll mention unto you
He comes from dear old Dublin
He's a man we all applaud
For he always finds a corkscrew
Far more handy than a sword.
He's good old General Guinness
He's a soldier strong and stout
Found on every bottle front
He can't be done without
His noble name has worldwide fame
Preserved through hearty cheers
Hurrah for General Guinness
Of the Dublin Boozileers!
This hale and hearty warrior
Is worshipped in the ranks,
For he does his task inside the cask
As well as in the tanks.
He's borne the brunt on every front,
North, South, East and West,
And he wears about ten million canteen
Medals on his chest.
He's good old General Guinness.
He has won the world's applause.
Was him who kept our spirits up
In the midst of all our wars.
Who was the first to flirt with
Mademoiselle from Armentiers?
Why good old General Guinness
Of the Dublin Boozileers.
All over bonny Scotland, too,
The General is seen.
They've given him the freedom
Of the "toon" of Aberdeen.
From Inverness to Galloshiles,
He keeps them warm and bright
And they love to gather round him,
Och, on every moonlit night.
He's good old General Guinness
He's as good as Scottish broth.
Twas him who turned the Firth of Forth
Into the Firth of Froth
All Scotsmen dance the highland fling
And shout when he appears
Hurrah for General Guinness
Of the Dublin Boozileers!