Well, I'm always bringin' home the dogs that's found beside the road.
I feed 'em and I pet 'em and they keep me on my toes,
Well, but now it's gone a bit too far, I don't see why it's me
That has to take the strays in from the whole damn galaxy!
But I'm the stray dog man, and I do what I can
To give them pups some lovin' and a home (a home)
But I wish the ones in space would go find another place
And leave me and my doggies here alone!
Well, I was sittin' in the back yard in a t-shirt, drinkin' a beer.
It was a hot and muggy evenin' but the sky was crystal clear
When I heard an engine poppin' but there was no one on the lane,
So I shrugged and looked to heaven, rubbed my eyes and looked again
There was a kind of flyin' pickup with a glow across the back
And as I watched it hover there out flew this gunny sack
Well, that pickup truck got fuzzy, then it flashed into the sky
That gunny sack bounced off the roof and it landed with a cry
But I'm the stray dog man, and I do what I can
To give them pups some lovin' and a home (a home)
But I wish the ones in space would go find another place
And leave me and my doggies here alone!
Well now, Old Rover bounded over and he sniffed around the sack
Then he took off a-runnin' and he ain't ever comin' back!
Well, poor Fido was the next to go, he bit down on that thing
He died before he finished and he started turning green
Spoken: Kind of sad, them four legs sticking straight up in the air.
Well now, that gunny sack it rustled and it opened dark and wide
With the ugliest damn critter that I ever saw, inside
Well, it crawled out, stretched, and preened itself, then it ate poor Fido raw,
Picked up the tractor and gulped it down then sat back with a yawn
Spoken: Well, by now I was gettin' a mite peeved - see, that was a brand new John Deere.
But I'm the stray dog man, and I do what I can
To give them pups some lovin' and a home (a home)
But I wish the ones in space would go find another place
And leave me and my doggies here alone!
Well now, I got a collar on it and I hauled it to the shed
It tried to eat the padlock but I fed it nails instead
Well, it cried all night out there alone, but I knew what to do
I put a clock inside a mitten, but it ate that s**er, too!
Spoken: I guess it got kind of hungry when the alarm went off. It was kind of cute when you got to know him, though. I named him Ursa Major - that's 'cause he's a major pain in the urse.
Well, I finally got him paper trained and I soon was glad to find
That everywhere that I would go, ol' Urse would tag behind
Well, the other dogs accept him now, he eats the ones that fight,
The twelve of them are nasty huntin' rabbits late at night
Spoken: That rabbit thinks he's smart, he hides inside a tree - well, old Urse, he eats the tree!
And I'm the stray dog man, and I do what I can
To give them pups some lovin' and a home (a home)
But I wish the ones in space would go find another place
And leave me and my doggies here alone!
Well now, I thought that was the end of it, but when a month went by
Another flying pickup threw a sack out on the fly
Well, it struggled and it rumbled, then that gunny Baggie burst
And the thing that was inside it ate poor Ursa Major first!
Well now, it happens every month or so, and I'm getting rather vexed
As soon as I get fond of one, it gets eaten by the next!
So I'm buildin' me a rocket, next time I see a sack
I'm gonna toss it in the nosecone and I'll throw that s**er back!
'Cause I'm the stray dog man, and I do what I can
To give them pups some lovin' and a home (a home)
But I wish the ones in space would go find another place
And leave me and my doggies here alone!
Yes, I wish the ones in space would go find another place
And leave me and my doggies here alone!