Satan was way cool
Everybody was in awe of Satan
He never wore clothes
He just walked around with a goatee and horns coming out of his head
He had tattoos and was probably into body piercing
Way before anyone else
Satan was the snake that tempted Eve
He knew how lame Eden was
So he invented s**
Adam and Eve were thankful and had lots of s**
Which increased the population
Finally there was too many people
So Satan invented war
So people could k** each oher
That way there was more places to live and more food
After many wars, people got bored
So God gave them Jesus
Soon they k**ed Jesus
And got bored again
So Satan gave them rock and roll
Rock and roll became bigger than religion
Everyone wanted to be in a rock and roll band
When Robert Johnson wanted to learn how to play guitar
All he had to do was go down to the crossroads and ask Satan
Satan gave Jimi Hendrix a can of lighter fluid to set fire to his guitar
He even lent Jim Morrison some beads and a pair of leather pants
Satan hung out with all the rock stars
And when they got too famous or too fat
Or their music started to s**
He helped them make the best possible career move
He k**ed them
That was so cool
In the early days, Satan used to hang out with God
Then people made up stories
Giving Satan a bad name
So God got up-tight and wouldn't let Satan hang around anymore
That was okay
Satan went down to the earth
And under the ground
And then started his own place
This place was way cooler than heaven
People could go there and party
And get wasted
Without worrying about their job or responsibilities
It was like a big club with no cover charge
There was no rules
Everything was free
They could go there and stay for eternity