Satan was way cool Everybody was in awe of Satan He never wore clothes He just walked around with a goatee and horns coming out of his head He had tattoos and was probably into body piercing Way before anyone else Satan was the snake that tempted Eve He knew how lame Eden was So he invented s** Adam and Eve were thankful and had lots of s** Which increased the population Finally there was too many people So Satan invented war So people could k** each oher That way there was more places to live and more food After many wars, people got bored So God gave them Jesus Soon they k**ed Jesus And got bored again So Satan gave them rock and roll Rock and roll became bigger than religion Everyone wanted to be in a rock and roll band When Robert Johnson wanted to learn how to play guitar All he had to do was go down to the crossroads and ask Satan
Satan gave Jimi Hendrix a can of lighter fluid to set fire to his guitar He even lent Jim Morrison some beads and a pair of leather pants Satan hung out with all the rock stars And when they got too famous or too fat Or their music started to s** He helped them make the best possible career move He k**ed them That was so cool In the early days, Satan used to hang out with God Then people made up stories Giving Satan a bad name So God got up-tight and wouldn't let Satan hang around anymore That was okay Satan went down to the earth And under the ground And then started his own place This place was way cooler than heaven People could go there and party And get wasted Without worrying about their job or responsibilities It was like a big club with no cover charge There was no rules Everything was free They could go there and stay for eternity