Well, I'm a lonesome schoolboy
And I just came into town
Yeah, I'm a lonesome schoolboy
And I just came into town
Well, I heard so much about London
I decided to check it out
Well, I wait in Leicester Square
With a come-hither look in my eye
Yeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Column
But all I do is talk to the lime
Oh where can I get my co*k s**ed?
Where can I get my a** f**ed?
I may have no money,
But I know where to put it every time
Well, I asked a young policeman
If he'd only lock me up for the night
Well, I've had pigs in the farmyard,
Some of them, some of them, they're alright
Well, he f**ed me with his truncheon
And his helmet was way too tight
Oh where can I get my co*k s**ed?
Where can I get my a** f**ed?
I ain't got no money,
But I know where to put it every time
I'm a lonesome schoolboy